This blog post is dedicated to my single mom friends who I love dearly and can't imagine navigating this rocky road of life without. It is in no way an indication that at the root of things we are not happy or in anyway imply that we discount the reality of Jesus working in us and for us. But.....
Life just stinks sometimes. No use beating around the bush to say it. It is hard, we worry, and often times we ask God if He is sure He won't give us more than we can bear. The day-to-day thoughts of money, kids, and how we are going to get everything done consumes us most of the time and tries to make the burden all the harder to carry. There is often a lot more month than money. Our kids see the things that other kids get and wonder why they can't have it all. Not to mention the fact that they are missing the much needed father figure to provide the support and stability that we sometimes cannot. I do not know how to SHOW my boys how to be godly men. I am not a man. I can teach them about God's word and live the way God instructs me to live, but it is not the same as if they had a godly man to lead them. How do we show our girls that their value is greater than anything that this world offers and that they shouldn't settle for the first guy that comes along that says the "right" things but does not have their best interests in his heart? We certainly don't want them to make the mistakes that we (and their dads) have made.
And let's not even talk about the dynamic of dating. Seriously....some days we long for someone that will help ease the burdens of adult life. Someone to talk to about the worst day ever or that will anticipate our need for dinner to already be made and at least a path cleared through the house so that we can walk straight to bed for much needed rest (did I mention that sleep is a rare commodity?). But what we get instead is trying too hard to impress someone who really isn't sure of what he wants or who is looking for the "perfect" woman, and end up making a fool of ourselves. Or believing the lines that we are fed only to realize that, that is all they are, empty words. What about when we do give our hearts to someone...and they give it right back to us? We find ourselves back at square one dealing with the same thoughts and insecurities that we had hoped had been conquered.
Yes, life stinks, sometimes. But there is a constant. The Still Small Voice that wakes us up at (what we think as) the most inopportune times and says "Wake up precious one. I want to tell you something". And we wrestle with waking up to spend time with our God and say, "not now Lord, I am tired". But His message to us won't leave. He keeps prompting us through the Holy Spirit to talk with Him, commune with Him, to let Him be the One that meets our needs and fills us up. His love is perfect, His plan is perfect. In order for us to be the women that He has called us to be we have to give Him our whole heart, and trust Him completely. Otherwise we aren't fully able to love, trust, or overcome the hurts of our past to move forward in what He has for us.
Even though we wrestle and argue before we submit, His message stays the same. If we listen close enough we will hear Him say, "It's going to be OK". Everything that we need was provided when Jesus came to this earth. As Pastor Tom has been teaching, "the end of our between is here".
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
More Than You Can Imagine
To go along with my blog about worrying too much about what people think, I have a follow up to prove my paranoia..haha.
Yesterday my dad commented on a photo and said "I love you more than you can imagine". When I first saw this I thought, "that's a little weird". Immediately I wondered what people would think about a comment like that. I mean, isn't that a term better suited for a significant other or spouse?
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how relevant those words are at this stage of my life. Most of my life I have not imagined that my dad loved me at all. So the words "I love you more than you can imagine" are a very appropriate reminder that God has brought healing and restoration to my relationship with my dad. That He is a God who keeps His word and does the things He says He will do when I am willing to submit to Him and be obedient to Him.
It is also a reminder that if my earthly father can love me that much, how much more does my heavenly Father, who knew me long before my dad, love me?
The answer....more than I can imagine.
Ephesians 3:16-19
"that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God"
Yesterday my dad commented on a photo and said "I love you more than you can imagine". When I first saw this I thought, "that's a little weird". Immediately I wondered what people would think about a comment like that. I mean, isn't that a term better suited for a significant other or spouse?
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how relevant those words are at this stage of my life. Most of my life I have not imagined that my dad loved me at all. So the words "I love you more than you can imagine" are a very appropriate reminder that God has brought healing and restoration to my relationship with my dad. That He is a God who keeps His word and does the things He says He will do when I am willing to submit to Him and be obedient to Him.
It is also a reminder that if my earthly father can love me that much, how much more does my heavenly Father, who knew me long before my dad, love me?
The answer....more than I can imagine.
Ephesians 3:16-19
"that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God"
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I Worry Too Much
A friend of mine told me today, "you worry too much" in response to an explanation that I gave for something that I had said earlier. They are right.
More times that not, I will over analyze things that I have said. Conversations with people and statements that I have made, and then feel the need to explain something that I said or wonder if what I said made sense. This will prompt me to want to explain or make other statements when the reality is that what I said to start with was fine.
I'm not sure why my mind works this way. Maybe it is lingering tidbits of insecurity that sometimes want to rise back up within me. Maybe it's that I want to be very careful how I come across to people because I want to be sensitive to their situations. Maybe it's because I've been in situations where what I said was misinterpreted and distorted into something it was not. Whatever the reason, this type of worry is putting confidence in myself rather than the Creator of my confidence and the reason I even have a voice to start with.
Philippians 3:3 says "for it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh".
I agree with this friend that I do worry too much. But this worry is not adding anything of value to my life or my relationships (Matthew 6:27). It distracts me from the things of God, makes me seem immature (and insecure), and most of the time will diminish the original message.
There are certainly times that I will make mistakes in conversation and will need to explain myself or even apologize. But that is not always the case. My prayer today is for God to give me more wisdom, more discernment, and more of Him to fill in the spaces that this type of worry tries to occupy.
More times that not, I will over analyze things that I have said. Conversations with people and statements that I have made, and then feel the need to explain something that I said or wonder if what I said made sense. This will prompt me to want to explain or make other statements when the reality is that what I said to start with was fine.
I'm not sure why my mind works this way. Maybe it is lingering tidbits of insecurity that sometimes want to rise back up within me. Maybe it's that I want to be very careful how I come across to people because I want to be sensitive to their situations. Maybe it's because I've been in situations where what I said was misinterpreted and distorted into something it was not. Whatever the reason, this type of worry is putting confidence in myself rather than the Creator of my confidence and the reason I even have a voice to start with.
Philippians 3:3 says "for it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh".
I agree with this friend that I do worry too much. But this worry is not adding anything of value to my life or my relationships (Matthew 6:27). It distracts me from the things of God, makes me seem immature (and insecure), and most of the time will diminish the original message.
There are certainly times that I will make mistakes in conversation and will need to explain myself or even apologize. But that is not always the case. My prayer today is for God to give me more wisdom, more discernment, and more of Him to fill in the spaces that this type of worry tries to occupy.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
God is My Defender
In the last few weeks there have been a few people that have spoken lies about me questioning my integrity and making accusations that I do not live a life according to God's word. I found several scriptures about the Lord being my defender but I chose this one to use for this situation.
2 Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence."
The Lord knows the truth about what these people have said about me. He will deliver me from their slander. He knows my heart. While I really wanted to be mad at them, I decided that I wouldn't be upset or launch into a defense but will see it for what it is. An attack of satan. His attempt to distract me from the things that God is calling me to.
Nothing makes satan madder or more determined to create problems than when someone starts fulfilling the call that God has on their life. I am certainly far from perfect and my flesh wants to rise up in anger that is not so righteous sometimes. But, I am definitely in a place where God is working, changing, and leading me into deeper things with Him.
So while I am moving forward and believing that God is my refuge and place of safety, I will also remember that Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). That includes lies spoken against me.
2 Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence."
The Lord knows the truth about what these people have said about me. He will deliver me from their slander. He knows my heart. While I really wanted to be mad at them, I decided that I wouldn't be upset or launch into a defense but will see it for what it is. An attack of satan. His attempt to distract me from the things that God is calling me to.
Nothing makes satan madder or more determined to create problems than when someone starts fulfilling the call that God has on their life. I am certainly far from perfect and my flesh wants to rise up in anger that is not so righteous sometimes. But, I am definitely in a place where God is working, changing, and leading me into deeper things with Him.
So while I am moving forward and believing that God is my refuge and place of safety, I will also remember that Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). That includes lies spoken against me.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving
Psalm 100:4 "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise, Be thankful to Him, and bless His name"
Isn't it appropriate that Thanksgiving is the first holiday of the "season" that ultimately ushers in the New Year? I mean, what better way to reflect on the past year and start thinking about the year ahead than by giving thanks.
I have so many things to be thankful for. So many things that I take for granted day-to-day that I do not deserve. First and foremost, God's love for me and Jesus dying on the cross. Without Him I am nothing and could not do half of what I do.
I'm thankful for my boys and the great kids that they are.
Although Zachary pushes me straight off the steepest end of the cliff sometimes, he is a light to my world. A good snuggle buddy and champion wrestler (I loose every time). He is smart and loves to tell stories. I am very afraid of what he tells at school..LOL! And words cannot express how proud I am of Joseph. He's a leader and very much his own person. Even his teachers tell me that. What they also tell me is that he is a good kid and adored by everyone. He makes good choices most of the time, and honestly, other than a little smart mouth every now and then, does not give me trouble. I love them both so much and couldn't imagine my life without either of them.
I am thankful for my job and the ability to provide for my family. I couldn't ask for a more lenient boss that is flexible, approachable, and more than fair on most occasions. Although we have to remind him sometimes that he is not perfect, I believe that God knew Logan is who I would need to work for at this moment in my life and He went before me to make that provision.
I am very thankful for great friends!!! There are too many to name and they are ALL very important to me. Accountability partners, prayer warriors, and just plain fun gals! I am very blessed to have them all and appreciate them very much.
I'm thankful for my family and miss them terribly sometimes. They are crazy, dysfunctional and quite hilarious! What I love most, though, is that they genuinely love each other and they love God. We have such a good time when we all get together. One of my favorite things that we don't do often enough anymore is when we gather together and sing. Hopefully we will have time to do that at one of our holiday gatherings.
I'm thankful for the opportunity that God gave me to right some wrongs of my past. The biggest being finishing college....ask me how THANKFUL I am to be graduating in a couple of weeks :o)!
God has taken me on an incredible journey this last year. While I don't have everything that I want, and my heart sometimes longs for things to happen much quicker than they do, I am thankful that I have everything that I need. I am thankful that God didn't give up on me. My heart overflows with gratitude because I can clearly see where He has brought me from...believe me, it wasn't pretty. While I don't know exactly where He is taking me to (and I really hope it involves a Prince Charming), I know that His plan is perfect, which makes me very thankful the He is in control of my future.
Isn't it appropriate that Thanksgiving is the first holiday of the "season" that ultimately ushers in the New Year? I mean, what better way to reflect on the past year and start thinking about the year ahead than by giving thanks.
I have so many things to be thankful for. So many things that I take for granted day-to-day that I do not deserve. First and foremost, God's love for me and Jesus dying on the cross. Without Him I am nothing and could not do half of what I do.
I'm thankful for my boys and the great kids that they are.
Although Zachary pushes me straight off the steepest end of the cliff sometimes, he is a light to my world. A good snuggle buddy and champion wrestler (I loose every time). He is smart and loves to tell stories. I am very afraid of what he tells at school..LOL! And words cannot express how proud I am of Joseph. He's a leader and very much his own person. Even his teachers tell me that. What they also tell me is that he is a good kid and adored by everyone. He makes good choices most of the time, and honestly, other than a little smart mouth every now and then, does not give me trouble. I love them both so much and couldn't imagine my life without either of them.
I am thankful for my job and the ability to provide for my family. I couldn't ask for a more lenient boss that is flexible, approachable, and more than fair on most occasions. Although we have to remind him sometimes that he is not perfect, I believe that God knew Logan is who I would need to work for at this moment in my life and He went before me to make that provision.
I am very thankful for great friends!!! There are too many to name and they are ALL very important to me. Accountability partners, prayer warriors, and just plain fun gals! I am very blessed to have them all and appreciate them very much.
I'm thankful for my family and miss them terribly sometimes. They are crazy, dysfunctional and quite hilarious! What I love most, though, is that they genuinely love each other and they love God. We have such a good time when we all get together. One of my favorite things that we don't do often enough anymore is when we gather together and sing. Hopefully we will have time to do that at one of our holiday gatherings.
I'm thankful for the opportunity that God gave me to right some wrongs of my past. The biggest being finishing college....ask me how THANKFUL I am to be graduating in a couple of weeks :o)!
God has taken me on an incredible journey this last year. While I don't have everything that I want, and my heart sometimes longs for things to happen much quicker than they do, I am thankful that I have everything that I need. I am thankful that God didn't give up on me. My heart overflows with gratitude because I can clearly see where He has brought me from...believe me, it wasn't pretty. While I don't know exactly where He is taking me to (and I really hope it involves a Prince Charming), I know that His plan is perfect, which makes me very thankful the He is in control of my future.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Distraction
I want to start this post by revisiting my previous post. I want to clarify that I am still friends with this person and that there are no hard feelings between us. I am not struggling with rejection of any kind but rather exactly what I talked about, knowing God's plan.
Sometimes we get into the mentality that we have heard from God, but in reality we are trying to make things happen that we think will make us happy. The things that are going to satisfy us at that moment. But the reality is, is that they are not God's plan.
Our enemy wants nothing more than to distract us from the call that God has on our lives. Satan will do everything that he can to keep us from fulfilling that calling, especially where our thoughts are concerned. When we are consumed with a situation or circumstance or emotion our focus isn't on God and where He is leading us.
1 Peter 5:8 says that the devil walks around like a lion seeking those that he can destroy. What better way to "destroy" us than to attack our minds and take our focus off of the things of God.
If he can keep me thinking about my situations and circumstances or the things that I desire (a godly man) then he can keep me from thinking about the good things that God has already done and the places that God is leading me.
Have I been distracted? Absolutely! But my hope and trust is in the Lord and I will "be sober, be vigilant" and "resist him" (the adversary) becuase my God who is of all grace has called me to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus. And once this trial is over He will perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me (1 Peter 5:10).
Sometimes we get into the mentality that we have heard from God, but in reality we are trying to make things happen that we think will make us happy. The things that are going to satisfy us at that moment. But the reality is, is that they are not God's plan.
Our enemy wants nothing more than to distract us from the call that God has on our lives. Satan will do everything that he can to keep us from fulfilling that calling, especially where our thoughts are concerned. When we are consumed with a situation or circumstance or emotion our focus isn't on God and where He is leading us.
1 Peter 5:8 says that the devil walks around like a lion seeking those that he can destroy. What better way to "destroy" us than to attack our minds and take our focus off of the things of God.
If he can keep me thinking about my situations and circumstances or the things that I desire (a godly man) then he can keep me from thinking about the good things that God has already done and the places that God is leading me.
Have I been distracted? Absolutely! But my hope and trust is in the Lord and I will "be sober, be vigilant" and "resist him" (the adversary) becuase my God who is of all grace has called me to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus. And once this trial is over He will perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me (1 Peter 5:10).
Thursday, November 17, 2011
When the Answer is No
I am loving our Bible study, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl, and one of the lessons this week was exactly what I needed! What do we do when God hurts our feelings (in my case says "no")?
I have a friend that I would like to be more than friends with (anyone ever been there?) but he is not interested. I have prayed about it, over analyzed every conversation we have had, tried to get him to notice me as more than just a friend, discussed it with my friends, you name it....but the answer is no. My feelings are very hurt. Not from rejection by this person, but more because I don't see God's bigger picture. He is telling me that for right now I cannot have what my heart is longing for....companionship, help, love...all the things that I have ever desired in a relationship but have never had.
But just like we see the bigger picture for our kids and try to teach them and keep them from getting hurt, God is doing that with me. I don't like it. Quite honestly, it stinks! But I do trust God's plan for me (and for my friend). I know that God has something far better than I could come up with on my own (Ephesians 6:20 "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us").
So I am going to take Lysa's advice from our Bible study and ask what instead of why. What Lord do you want to teach me in this situation, what Jesus do I need to work on and let You clean out so that I can make healthy choices where relationships are concerned? Hard questions, but ones that will no doubt serve well to move me closer to God and the plans that He has for me. And, hopefully a little closer to meeting my Prince Charming!
I have a friend that I would like to be more than friends with (anyone ever been there?) but he is not interested. I have prayed about it, over analyzed every conversation we have had, tried to get him to notice me as more than just a friend, discussed it with my friends, you name it....but the answer is no. My feelings are very hurt. Not from rejection by this person, but more because I don't see God's bigger picture. He is telling me that for right now I cannot have what my heart is longing for....companionship, help, love...all the things that I have ever desired in a relationship but have never had.
But just like we see the bigger picture for our kids and try to teach them and keep them from getting hurt, God is doing that with me. I don't like it. Quite honestly, it stinks! But I do trust God's plan for me (and for my friend). I know that God has something far better than I could come up with on my own (Ephesians 6:20 "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us").
So I am going to take Lysa's advice from our Bible study and ask what instead of why. What Lord do you want to teach me in this situation, what Jesus do I need to work on and let You clean out so that I can make healthy choices where relationships are concerned? Hard questions, but ones that will no doubt serve well to move me closer to God and the plans that He has for me. And, hopefully a little closer to meeting my Prince Charming!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
New Adventure in the New Year
I know that it is too early for new Year's resolutions, but I just can't contain my excitement about starting my masters degree program with Liberty University!
I have loved everything about King College and greatly appreciate the opportunity that they provided me to complete my bachelor's degree in business, and seriously considered moving forward with obtaining my MBA from them. However, as the time got closer for me to graduate and make a decision about what my next move would be, I began to feel unsettled with the MBA choice.
I really felt like God was telling me to pursue other options and even felt chastised a little because I had not asked Him if the MBA degree is what He wanted me to pursue. Even though I had already applied and been accepted to King's MBA program, I started looking for other options.
That is when I found Liberty University online.
From the moment I started looking into their programs I have felt peace. The school has good reviews, friends that have attended there have positive things to say, I watched their convocation on Sunday mornings, all very positive!! PLUS, they have many more options than an MBA.
I knew the Lord was leading me into some sort of Biblical studies, but also knew that I wanted have something that I could further apply to my current career. So, I chose their Master of Arts in Christian Leadership.
The closer January 16th gets, the more excited I become. It almost overshadows my graduation on December 16th!! I can't wait to study God's word in a classroom environment. Here is a list of the classes I am taking my first semester:
Introduction to Apologetics, New Testament Orientation, Old Testament Introduction, and Systematic Theology.
I haven't a clue what I am going to do with this degree when I am done. But I do know that God surely has a plan that is going to change my life and will keep drawing me closer to Him!
I have loved everything about King College and greatly appreciate the opportunity that they provided me to complete my bachelor's degree in business, and seriously considered moving forward with obtaining my MBA from them. However, as the time got closer for me to graduate and make a decision about what my next move would be, I began to feel unsettled with the MBA choice.
I really felt like God was telling me to pursue other options and even felt chastised a little because I had not asked Him if the MBA degree is what He wanted me to pursue. Even though I had already applied and been accepted to King's MBA program, I started looking for other options.
That is when I found Liberty University online.
From the moment I started looking into their programs I have felt peace. The school has good reviews, friends that have attended there have positive things to say, I watched their convocation on Sunday mornings, all very positive!! PLUS, they have many more options than an MBA.
I knew the Lord was leading me into some sort of Biblical studies, but also knew that I wanted have something that I could further apply to my current career. So, I chose their Master of Arts in Christian Leadership.
The closer January 16th gets, the more excited I become. It almost overshadows my graduation on December 16th!! I can't wait to study God's word in a classroom environment. Here is a list of the classes I am taking my first semester:
Introduction to Apologetics, New Testament Orientation, Old Testament Introduction, and Systematic Theology.
I haven't a clue what I am going to do with this degree when I am done. But I do know that God surely has a plan that is going to change my life and will keep drawing me closer to Him!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Finding Jesus - Finding Me
Jeremiah 29: 11-14
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, gather you from all the nations and from all that places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive"
I am just going to tell you that the first part of that verse drives me crazy sometimes because it is not the words that I want to hear. I am a very determined person who has always had a plan and likes to know what is going to happen, when it is going to happen, how it is going to happen and the final outcome. This part of the scripture is calling me to place of much discomfort because it doesn't allow me to be in control. I like control.
But as I have analyzed (something that I tend to over do to just about everything) the happenings over the course of my life, I see the plans that God has for me. I don't know what the future holds, but somehow seeing where He has brought me from gives me peace about where He is taking me to. Whether I know exactly where that is or not.
One plan that I definitely know He has for me is to draw me into a closer relationship with Him. This where the other words of this passage speak to me.
The events that have happened in my life in the last few years caused me to take true inventory of how much I seek the Lord and the quality of time that I spend with Him. As I learned to truly seek the Lord and pray to Him, I really did find Him!
What a difference it has made in my life. I love Jesus like I never have before and truly want all that He has for me. I LOVE His word and how it speaks to me. I can't wait to spend time with Him each day and always search for more ways to include Him in my life.
I surely have been brought back from captivity. From places that I went to because of my lack of trust in the Lord. My lack of good judgement. My need to be in control and not surrender to what God had for me.
But the only place I can imagine being, that is better than where I am right now, is where God is taking me.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, gather you from all the nations and from all that places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive"
I am just going to tell you that the first part of that verse drives me crazy sometimes because it is not the words that I want to hear. I am a very determined person who has always had a plan and likes to know what is going to happen, when it is going to happen, how it is going to happen and the final outcome. This part of the scripture is calling me to place of much discomfort because it doesn't allow me to be in control. I like control.
But as I have analyzed (something that I tend to over do to just about everything) the happenings over the course of my life, I see the plans that God has for me. I don't know what the future holds, but somehow seeing where He has brought me from gives me peace about where He is taking me to. Whether I know exactly where that is or not.
One plan that I definitely know He has for me is to draw me into a closer relationship with Him. This where the other words of this passage speak to me.
The events that have happened in my life in the last few years caused me to take true inventory of how much I seek the Lord and the quality of time that I spend with Him. As I learned to truly seek the Lord and pray to Him, I really did find Him!
What a difference it has made in my life. I love Jesus like I never have before and truly want all that He has for me. I LOVE His word and how it speaks to me. I can't wait to spend time with Him each day and always search for more ways to include Him in my life.
I surely have been brought back from captivity. From places that I went to because of my lack of trust in the Lord. My lack of good judgement. My need to be in control and not surrender to what God had for me.
But the only place I can imagine being, that is better than where I am right now, is where God is taking me.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Random
Last night and this morning I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything that has been happening the last few weeks. It also doesn't help that I am a woman and we are overly emotional sometimes, or the fact that our days have been filled with non-stop running from one event to another.....some days I feel like I have driven enough to have gone to SC and back!
My uncle Randy died unexpectedly, my stepmom's sister died (she had cancer), our dog was missing and we found him dead, one of the goldfish died (I admit the goldfish is probably not the best example, it's just that it is one more death), and Monday my best friend called to say that her dad who has Alzheimer's was not expected to live much longer (he died today).....
So much death and tragedy all in one time frame is just overwhelming. Whether expected or unexpected, death is never easy. Running from sun up to sun down certainly takes its toll, and we all know how crazy hormones can make us (men included...I don't know why y'all think you are exempt!).
This morning I was sitting and pondering things that have happened, all that was going on and the feelings of insecurity rising up because of a situation that I don't have complete clarity on and just started crying. Life is just overwhelming sometimes!
I opened my Bible to look for a scripture that might help me quiet the insecurity that was trying to make matters worse, and looked over to the page before the passage I wanted, and this is what it said....
"And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work" 2 Corinthians 9:8
Immediately I felt peace, and thanked God that even in the midst of this chaos and emotional breakdown and death He reminded me that His grace is enough. He will give me the grace to handle these circumstances and anything else that life might decide to send my way. He will be sufficient in all areas of my life (even crazy hormonal areas) and will equip me for the good work that He has planned for me.
I trust You, Jesus, and declare today that Your grace, is indeed, enough!
My uncle Randy died unexpectedly, my stepmom's sister died (she had cancer), our dog was missing and we found him dead, one of the goldfish died (I admit the goldfish is probably not the best example, it's just that it is one more death), and Monday my best friend called to say that her dad who has Alzheimer's was not expected to live much longer (he died today).....
So much death and tragedy all in one time frame is just overwhelming. Whether expected or unexpected, death is never easy. Running from sun up to sun down certainly takes its toll, and we all know how crazy hormones can make us (men included...I don't know why y'all think you are exempt!).
This morning I was sitting and pondering things that have happened, all that was going on and the feelings of insecurity rising up because of a situation that I don't have complete clarity on and just started crying. Life is just overwhelming sometimes!
I opened my Bible to look for a scripture that might help me quiet the insecurity that was trying to make matters worse, and looked over to the page before the passage I wanted, and this is what it said....
"And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work" 2 Corinthians 9:8
Immediately I felt peace, and thanked God that even in the midst of this chaos and emotional breakdown and death He reminded me that His grace is enough. He will give me the grace to handle these circumstances and anything else that life might decide to send my way. He will be sufficient in all areas of my life (even crazy hormonal areas) and will equip me for the good work that He has planned for me.
I trust You, Jesus, and declare today that Your grace, is indeed, enough!
Monday, November 07, 2011
Good-Bye Woody
Last Tuesday Woody went off on one of his usual trysts, but never made it back home to us alive. We aren't really sure what happened but we think that he got hit by a car. This seems like the most mundane way for him to die considering all that we have been through with him.
Woody was a big baby of a dog....we would have surely been in trouble had we gotten him to be a watch dog....one bark and then he would have been the foe's best friend. He was so friendly and easy going. He got car sick almost every time we took him anywhere, so, he usually only got to go to the vet and back. Shortly after we got him (when he was about 6 wks old) we found out that he had Parvo. The vet said that he would die but we declared that he was going to live (in Jesus' name) and he did. Then we wanted to kill him because he ate EVERYTHING in the house.....thankfully he got over that stage and became the loveable mutt that just plopped down on the floor wherever we were at and watched us. We loved him and he loved us. He will be greatly missed.
I am very thankful that we found him. Both when he was a puppy and now that he has gone on to doggy heaven (I know, maybe not theologically sound to some people, but I choose to believe he will be in heaven when we get there). Our lives held little extra fun, a whole lot more love, and a bundle more chaos; and, I'm glad to know that (since he for whatever reason died) he is buried in the back yard rather than alone in a place where we would have never found him.
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"
Woody was a big baby of a dog....we would have surely been in trouble had we gotten him to be a watch dog....one bark and then he would have been the foe's best friend. He was so friendly and easy going. He got car sick almost every time we took him anywhere, so, he usually only got to go to the vet and back. Shortly after we got him (when he was about 6 wks old) we found out that he had Parvo. The vet said that he would die but we declared that he was going to live (in Jesus' name) and he did. Then we wanted to kill him because he ate EVERYTHING in the house.....thankfully he got over that stage and became the loveable mutt that just plopped down on the floor wherever we were at and watched us. We loved him and he loved us. He will be greatly missed.
I am very thankful that we found him. Both when he was a puppy and now that he has gone on to doggy heaven (I know, maybe not theologically sound to some people, but I choose to believe he will be in heaven when we get there). Our lives held little extra fun, a whole lot more love, and a bundle more chaos; and, I'm glad to know that (since he for whatever reason died) he is buried in the back yard rather than alone in a place where we would have never found him.
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Attitude Confessions Continued
2 Peter 1:5-7
"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to your goodness, knowledge; and to your knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."
I felt so bad after the not-so-good start to our week. I felt myself caught up in the wrong attitude that "we just can't get it right, especially me". My example to the boys is the most important one they see. They act the way that I act, they talk the way that I talk. Quite often, I am ashamed to hear some of the things that they say and see ways that they act because I know that it came straight from me.
On Wednesday I pulled out a book to read, hoping that it would provide some word to calm this war going on within me about what a bad example I had been. The scripture above was in chapter one. When I read it, I felt peace that I hadn't felt all week.
See, God doesn't expect me to be the perfect example all the time. He expects me to keep trying and "add" to the things that He has placed in me. He gives me goodness, knowledge, self-control (which sometimes seems like a very small portion), perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. But how much I add to these is up to me. When I mess up, these things aren't taken away, I'm just not adding much to them.
Lesson learned for me this week....I will not feel condemned when I fall short with my attitude and actions, but will remember the things that God has given me to handle the situation, and move forward adding to them rather than taking away.
"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to your goodness, knowledge; and to your knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."
I felt so bad after the not-so-good start to our week. I felt myself caught up in the wrong attitude that "we just can't get it right, especially me". My example to the boys is the most important one they see. They act the way that I act, they talk the way that I talk. Quite often, I am ashamed to hear some of the things that they say and see ways that they act because I know that it came straight from me.
On Wednesday I pulled out a book to read, hoping that it would provide some word to calm this war going on within me about what a bad example I had been. The scripture above was in chapter one. When I read it, I felt peace that I hadn't felt all week.
See, God doesn't expect me to be the perfect example all the time. He expects me to keep trying and "add" to the things that He has placed in me. He gives me goodness, knowledge, self-control (which sometimes seems like a very small portion), perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. But how much I add to these is up to me. When I mess up, these things aren't taken away, I'm just not adding much to them.
Lesson learned for me this week....I will not feel condemned when I fall short with my attitude and actions, but will remember the things that God has given me to handle the situation, and move forward adding to them rather than taking away.
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Attitude Confessions
Galatians 5:19-22
"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: ... strife, ...., fits of anger, ..., dissensions, divisions, ...and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law"
Let me just go ahead and say that there has not been much practice of the fruits of the Spirit around my house this week! Over scheduled momma and kids have not made for very good company....it seems that the least little things have set one or all of us over the edge, and it only takes one of us to get a bad attitude and the other two soon follow! Strife, fits of anger, dissensions and divisions have shown up too many times the last few days!
Maybe I should have been better prepared for this week...a friend asked me how they could pray for me this week. My answer was for them to pray that the boys and me would have good attitudes with each other and about the things that we needed to do this week. Sure fire way to be tested in this area.
But I INTEND to keep my covenant with the Lord. We will keep working on our attitudes and declare that these things have no place in our lives. Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken"
"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: ... strife, ...., fits of anger, ..., dissensions, divisions, ...and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law"
Let me just go ahead and say that there has not been much practice of the fruits of the Spirit around my house this week! Over scheduled momma and kids have not made for very good company....it seems that the least little things have set one or all of us over the edge, and it only takes one of us to get a bad attitude and the other two soon follow! Strife, fits of anger, dissensions and divisions have shown up too many times the last few days!
Maybe I should have been better prepared for this week...a friend asked me how they could pray for me this week. My answer was for them to pray that the boys and me would have good attitudes with each other and about the things that we needed to do this week. Sure fire way to be tested in this area.
But I INTEND to keep my covenant with the Lord. We will keep working on our attitudes and declare that these things have no place in our lives. Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken"
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Working It All Out For Good
Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"
My uncle's death was untimely by our time, and was certainly a shock. One that we would rather not repeat with any other family members any time soon. But as I was with my family last weekend, and even in the few days since, I have seen God at work. Not only comforting my family, but working some things out for good.
I have not had a very good relationship with my dad's side of the family (except for my Granny and Papa). I just didn't want the lifestyle that they seemed to embrace, and I had a lot of animosity toward my dad because he wasn't around for me when I was a little girl. I carried these feelings well into adulthood, and thought that I was fine.
Well, the Lord has a way of messing you up, and letting you know that you aren't OK! A couple of years ago I had a prophetic word spoken over me by two different people. Now for those of you who may be skeptical of this sort of thing, I did not know these two men, never met them in my life, but had been praying diligently for the Lord to give me a word of confirmation on some things going on in my life. They not only spoke about those things, but also spoke about a restored relationship with my father that had been broken since I was a little girl. I did a few things that I felt like the Lord was calling me to do at that time and left it at that. No real relationship with my dad was established, but we were more on "speaking terms" than we had been in years. And, I started calling him "dad" again instead of "John".
Nothing else really changed but this last weekend I saw my dad like I have not seen him before. I almost can't find the words to describe the change that I saw. My uncle's death really humbled him.
Isn't it just like the Lord to give us things that we have longed for? My dad told me that I was pretty. I don't know if I have ever heard him tell me that. But don't all daughters want to hear that from their daddies? I went for two motorcycle rides with him. Not that riding motorcycles is my thing, but because he had rode me on his bike when I was little. My uncle had rode me on his motorcycle, too. I told my dad that I loved him and I mean it. I'm not really sure that my heart is completely healed, but I see the true beginnings of restoration.
My dad called me this morning to tell me to be careful and that he loves me. How unusual......I'm not sure I know what to do with this. Except to realize that God works all things together for good.
One last thing, my dad called my mom. They have been divorced since I was 11. They have not been on very good speaking terms. But he apologized to her for all that he had done to her and our family. She apologized, too. Could this be the release of bitterness held by both of them? I in no way mean that they will reconcile, they are both remarried to great people, just that maybe they both will have a greater peace now.
Did my uncle have to die for these things to happen? No. But God has taken this tragedy that satan meant for harm and changed my dad. He is bringing an end to a cycle of un-forgiveness and bitterness, and whispered a few sweet words to this little girl's heart.
My uncle's death was untimely by our time, and was certainly a shock. One that we would rather not repeat with any other family members any time soon. But as I was with my family last weekend, and even in the few days since, I have seen God at work. Not only comforting my family, but working some things out for good.
I have not had a very good relationship with my dad's side of the family (except for my Granny and Papa). I just didn't want the lifestyle that they seemed to embrace, and I had a lot of animosity toward my dad because he wasn't around for me when I was a little girl. I carried these feelings well into adulthood, and thought that I was fine.
Well, the Lord has a way of messing you up, and letting you know that you aren't OK! A couple of years ago I had a prophetic word spoken over me by two different people. Now for those of you who may be skeptical of this sort of thing, I did not know these two men, never met them in my life, but had been praying diligently for the Lord to give me a word of confirmation on some things going on in my life. They not only spoke about those things, but also spoke about a restored relationship with my father that had been broken since I was a little girl. I did a few things that I felt like the Lord was calling me to do at that time and left it at that. No real relationship with my dad was established, but we were more on "speaking terms" than we had been in years. And, I started calling him "dad" again instead of "John".
Nothing else really changed but this last weekend I saw my dad like I have not seen him before. I almost can't find the words to describe the change that I saw. My uncle's death really humbled him.
Isn't it just like the Lord to give us things that we have longed for? My dad told me that I was pretty. I don't know if I have ever heard him tell me that. But don't all daughters want to hear that from their daddies? I went for two motorcycle rides with him. Not that riding motorcycles is my thing, but because he had rode me on his bike when I was little. My uncle had rode me on his motorcycle, too. I told my dad that I loved him and I mean it. I'm not really sure that my heart is completely healed, but I see the true beginnings of restoration.
My dad called me this morning to tell me to be careful and that he loves me. How unusual......I'm not sure I know what to do with this. Except to realize that God works all things together for good.
One last thing, my dad called my mom. They have been divorced since I was 11. They have not been on very good speaking terms. But he apologized to her for all that he had done to her and our family. She apologized, too. Could this be the release of bitterness held by both of them? I in no way mean that they will reconcile, they are both remarried to great people, just that maybe they both will have a greater peace now.
Did my uncle have to die for these things to happen? No. But God has taken this tragedy that satan meant for harm and changed my dad. He is bringing an end to a cycle of un-forgiveness and bitterness, and whispered a few sweet words to this little girl's heart.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
There is a Season, a Time
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die..."
Today was my uncle Randy's time to die. So many things run through my mind when I think about this and the sadness that my family faces now and until Jesus calls the rest of us home.
The first is that I am not sure that he was saved. It is my sincere hope that at some point either before this accident, or sometime during the accident he cried out to Jesus to forgive him, and found himself in heaven. My uncle lived a hard life. Mostly scarred by alcohol and drugs. Maybe a product of the environment that he grew up in, but mostly because of the choices that he made. My heart hurts to think that he may not have been ready to meet his Maker.
Second, my poor Granny. She has buried one of her babies (when he was a baby), her husband of nearly 50 years, most of her friends, and now her youngest son. And her oldest son is in prison. I wonder how much she can take. She has been through so much and still, life is hard. Her life has been hard, and not just from the loss of close family and friends. Sometimes it seems she drew the short end of the stick.
Third, I haven't been really close to my uncle in years. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't tell you the last time that I talked to him. But when I was young, he was my favorite. He would ride with me on the bicycle. We had a not so pleasant accident one time that landed me at the hospital scrapped and bruised. He took me for rides on his motorcycle. He took me to meet Santa at his work. That did not go so well either, as I was not too inclined to visit with Santa. I have a not so pretty picture of me crying on Santa's lap with my uncle Randy sitting beside me to calm me down.
We have been through many seasons. I know that not one of them was a surprise to God. He has known all of these things would happen, He knows what else will happen. I believe He will guide us through the seasons to follow......from the time of weeping and mourning to the time of laughter and dancing....and pray that He sends an extra portion of His peace for this really difficult time.
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die..."
Today was my uncle Randy's time to die. So many things run through my mind when I think about this and the sadness that my family faces now and until Jesus calls the rest of us home.
The first is that I am not sure that he was saved. It is my sincere hope that at some point either before this accident, or sometime during the accident he cried out to Jesus to forgive him, and found himself in heaven. My uncle lived a hard life. Mostly scarred by alcohol and drugs. Maybe a product of the environment that he grew up in, but mostly because of the choices that he made. My heart hurts to think that he may not have been ready to meet his Maker.
Second, my poor Granny. She has buried one of her babies (when he was a baby), her husband of nearly 50 years, most of her friends, and now her youngest son. And her oldest son is in prison. I wonder how much she can take. She has been through so much and still, life is hard. Her life has been hard, and not just from the loss of close family and friends. Sometimes it seems she drew the short end of the stick.
Third, I haven't been really close to my uncle in years. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't tell you the last time that I talked to him. But when I was young, he was my favorite. He would ride with me on the bicycle. We had a not so pleasant accident one time that landed me at the hospital scrapped and bruised. He took me for rides on his motorcycle. He took me to meet Santa at his work. That did not go so well either, as I was not too inclined to visit with Santa. I have a not so pretty picture of me crying on Santa's lap with my uncle Randy sitting beside me to calm me down.
We have been through many seasons. I know that not one of them was a surprise to God. He has known all of these things would happen, He knows what else will happen. I believe He will guide us through the seasons to follow......from the time of weeping and mourning to the time of laughter and dancing....and pray that He sends an extra portion of His peace for this really difficult time.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Intentional
When Hezekiah became king after Ahaz, he immediately started restoring the kingdom to a relationship with the Lord. I love what he says in 2 Chronicles 29:10 (NIV) "Now I intend to make a covenant with the LORD, the God of Israel, so that his fierce anger will turn away from us".
Now I'm all about turning away the anger of the Lord (or trying not to make Him mad to start with), but what stands out is that Hezekiah was intentional. He was making it a point to turn Israel back to God. The New King James version uses the words "it is in my heart to make covenant with the Lord".
This really started me thinking about how intentional my walk with God is. How much of what God wants is in my heart? I get so caught up in the everyday things and happenings (distractions) of life that I loose my focus on what God may be trying to show me or the things that I need to change or the kind of example I am being. I stop being intentional in my walk with God, and operate more in the flesh of Christie than the calling of God.
Intentional means deliberate. Am I deliberate in making choices that honor God? Am I deliberate in my obedience to Christ? Or, do I just go through the motions of following the dos and don'ts of the Bible. Do I have just enough Jesus to get me to Heaven, or do I intentionally seek Him and His will for me and my family?
I hope that much more often than not I am intentional in my relationship with my Abba Father, but I know that I have fallen short. My prayer now if for Jesus to not let me forget the words of Hezekiah, for me to repeat those words as if I had penned them.....
I intend to make a covenant with the Lord my God, to let it be in my heart to serve Him and give Him reign over my household. To tear down the things that I have let come between Him and me, and move forward in the blessings that His word promises. Jesus help me to be intentional.
Now I'm all about turning away the anger of the Lord (or trying not to make Him mad to start with), but what stands out is that Hezekiah was intentional. He was making it a point to turn Israel back to God. The New King James version uses the words "it is in my heart to make covenant with the Lord".
This really started me thinking about how intentional my walk with God is. How much of what God wants is in my heart? I get so caught up in the everyday things and happenings (distractions) of life that I loose my focus on what God may be trying to show me or the things that I need to change or the kind of example I am being. I stop being intentional in my walk with God, and operate more in the flesh of Christie than the calling of God.
Intentional means deliberate. Am I deliberate in making choices that honor God? Am I deliberate in my obedience to Christ? Or, do I just go through the motions of following the dos and don'ts of the Bible. Do I have just enough Jesus to get me to Heaven, or do I intentionally seek Him and His will for me and my family?
I hope that much more often than not I am intentional in my relationship with my Abba Father, but I know that I have fallen short. My prayer now if for Jesus to not let me forget the words of Hezekiah, for me to repeat those words as if I had penned them.....
I intend to make a covenant with the Lord my God, to let it be in my heart to serve Him and give Him reign over my household. To tear down the things that I have let come between Him and me, and move forward in the blessings that His word promises. Jesus help me to be intentional.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Influencer
I'm not sure when I first started praying this prayer with my boys, but "God let us be influencers rather than the influenced" has become part of our daily prayers. Matthew 5:14-16 tells us that we are to be a light to this world, "a city on a hill that cannot be hidden", and for us to let that light shine before others rather than trying to hide it so that when people see this light they will give glory to God. I sincerely hope that I do this in my home, church and community. But, sometimes I wonder if I really am making an impact, and just how much of an impact that I am making. I wonder if I am being an influencer.
Well, in only the way that God can work, He gave me a confirmation from an unlikely source that affirmed that I am some where on the right track with this train called life.
I am at a conference for work. Before this conference we had to take an assessment test to determine what some of our strengths are. Since I have taken 5 or 6 of these over the years, and have learned a lot through experience, I pretty much know (or thought I knew) how they will come out. But for this particular one, my number one strength/personality trait was, you guessed it, INFLUENCER.
Isn't that so sweet of God to send confirmation like that? I mean, out of all the things that could have come up on this test, and of all the names that the people who developed the test could have called this strength, it was influencer.
Thank You Father for confirmation that I am being an "influencer". Let me not take that lightly, and strive daily to let my light shine brighter for You than the day before.
Well, in only the way that God can work, He gave me a confirmation from an unlikely source that affirmed that I am some where on the right track with this train called life.
I am at a conference for work. Before this conference we had to take an assessment test to determine what some of our strengths are. Since I have taken 5 or 6 of these over the years, and have learned a lot through experience, I pretty much know (or thought I knew) how they will come out. But for this particular one, my number one strength/personality trait was, you guessed it, INFLUENCER.
Isn't that so sweet of God to send confirmation like that? I mean, out of all the things that could have come up on this test, and of all the names that the people who developed the test could have called this strength, it was influencer.
Thank You Father for confirmation that I am being an "influencer". Let me not take that lightly, and strive daily to let my light shine brighter for You than the day before.
Happy Birthday Joseph!
Today is Joseph's birthday, he is 14! He will probably never read this but I just have to brag on him a little.
I can't believe how time has flown by. Before long we will be filling out college applications and I will be driving him to a new adventure. It almost makes me cry now just thinking about it.
I am VERY proud of my first born. It always amazes me the things that people tell me about him. I so often feel like I am failing as a mother, but when I hear about things he is doing and the example that he sets, I realize that with a whole lot of God's help. something is going right.
He is not a crowd follower for sure, and is more apt to be an example rather than conform. He is unique and really doesn't care what anyone thinks about that. He has a lot of friends, but doesn't let that go to his head. I have seen him hang out with kids of all different backgrounds and not leave anyone out. I hope this is true for when I'm not around, I believe it is.
He won student of the month at school recently, three teachers nominated him. He is in Beta club. His teachers always tell me what a good sport he is. One teacher even told me about their friendly little jokes they play on each other. A few weeks ago the Assistant Principal was bragging about him saying that a couple of special needs kids wanted to come into the lunch room but were afraid. Joseph and a friend of his went and got the two kids, helped them get their lunch and sat with them during lunch so they wouldn't be afraid. I could almost cry at that, too.
He helps with the nursery and pre-k kids at church. They adore him! (too bad I can't get him and Zach to get along like that....brothers!!!) He loves them, too!
Because of Beta he has to do community service. A few of the things he has done are: collecting and donating toys for a local clinic, helping a friend of ours clean up trash around their business, helping with a special needs camp at a church in our community, and picking up trash along the Gatlinburg bypass.
I see leadership in him and a heart for young children. I am excited to see how these two things develop in his life and where God takes him. He is such a good kid (if I do say so myself). People tell me that all the time. I love him very much and am very proud to be his mom!
I can't believe how time has flown by. Before long we will be filling out college applications and I will be driving him to a new adventure. It almost makes me cry now just thinking about it.
I am VERY proud of my first born. It always amazes me the things that people tell me about him. I so often feel like I am failing as a mother, but when I hear about things he is doing and the example that he sets, I realize that with a whole lot of God's help. something is going right.
He is not a crowd follower for sure, and is more apt to be an example rather than conform. He is unique and really doesn't care what anyone thinks about that. He has a lot of friends, but doesn't let that go to his head. I have seen him hang out with kids of all different backgrounds and not leave anyone out. I hope this is true for when I'm not around, I believe it is.
He won student of the month at school recently, three teachers nominated him. He is in Beta club. His teachers always tell me what a good sport he is. One teacher even told me about their friendly little jokes they play on each other. A few weeks ago the Assistant Principal was bragging about him saying that a couple of special needs kids wanted to come into the lunch room but were afraid. Joseph and a friend of his went and got the two kids, helped them get their lunch and sat with them during lunch so they wouldn't be afraid. I could almost cry at that, too.
He helps with the nursery and pre-k kids at church. They adore him! (too bad I can't get him and Zach to get along like that....brothers!!!) He loves them, too!
Because of Beta he has to do community service. A few of the things he has done are: collecting and donating toys for a local clinic, helping a friend of ours clean up trash around their business, helping with a special needs camp at a church in our community, and picking up trash along the Gatlinburg bypass.
I see leadership in him and a heart for young children. I am excited to see how these two things develop in his life and where God takes him. He is such a good kid (if I do say so myself). People tell me that all the time. I love him very much and am very proud to be his mom!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Radical Obedience
I have been reading another book by Lysa Terkeurt called What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. This book is all about being radically obedient to Christ and the things that He asks us to do in our daily lives. Essentially, giving our whole lives to Him, asking Him how we should handle every decision, situation, and choice that we have to make. And then following through with the answer that He gives us whether it was what we had planned or not.
I would like to say that I read this book, did the Bible study and became radically obedient the minute I was finished. However, I am about 3/4 through the book, have not done the Bible study part of it yet, and failed at a simple little thing that I felt God calling me to do tonight. And, what's worse is that I had asked God for the very thing that I would be disobedient about.
Now before anyone thinks that I am going to live with this and let it affect how I move forward, I know that there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that Jesus forgives me for this mishap and will give me many more opportunities to be radically obedient for Him.
The song that I blogged about in an earlier post truly speaks to me and is my life song for this moment in my life. Waiting here for God is how I would characterize the place I am in because I need His direction on choices that I need to make, I want Him to move and change some of the circumstances of my life right now, and I absolutely want Him to move in my children's lives. But He keeps telling me to wait. I keep asking what I'm waiting for and He keeps telling me "Me". So I am waiting.....
While I have been waiting (and listening to this song over and over), I have been asking God for intimate times with Him. Deeper worship and clarity of what He is telling me. He is answering that prayer. Some days it is all I can do to not walk around with my hands lifted in the air in praise to Him, or just stay flat on my face before Him, asking for more of Him in my life.
Today was no exception. I really wanted to have a deeper worship experience with Him in our corporate worship at church. Don't get me wrong, I kneel and raise my hands and pray to Him when I'm alone. I think those moments are very important. But I also believe that there is something to be said for believers gathering together to give praise to our God. Today I wanted to sit at the alter, at Jesus' feet and worship Him.
So, I prayed, "Jesus, let tonight's service be about worship. Let us sing that song that is resonating within my heart and let me sit at the alter in quiet worship of you". And guess what, He answered me. Only instead of taking this opportunity to do what I had longed to do, I stood in front of my seat and refused the opportunity to sit at His feet. I can't really give you a good reason why. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was wondering what others would think, maybe it was a lot of things. But I know one thing, I missed this opportunity for God to whisper His love for me into my heart. I do not believe that this was the last opportunity that I will have, but it is also one that I can't get back.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss too many of those moments. I want to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus feet and soak up His love for me rather than being like Martha, being so busy or distracted that I can't focus on what is in front of me....Jesus, desiring a relationship with me, Jesus wanting to give me the good gifts that our Father has promised us, Jesus with arms open wide determined to let me know that He loves me.
Father thank you for missed opportunities that teach me lessons and ultimately will draw me closer to You as You teach me about being radically obedient. Not that I want to walk in rebellion Lord but that when I do mess up, when I do fail, You will still work the situation out for good because I am called according to Your purposes, and Your will, will be carried out in my life. Help me God to be radically obedient to You!
I would like to say that I read this book, did the Bible study and became radically obedient the minute I was finished. However, I am about 3/4 through the book, have not done the Bible study part of it yet, and failed at a simple little thing that I felt God calling me to do tonight. And, what's worse is that I had asked God for the very thing that I would be disobedient about.
Now before anyone thinks that I am going to live with this and let it affect how I move forward, I know that there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that Jesus forgives me for this mishap and will give me many more opportunities to be radically obedient for Him.
The song that I blogged about in an earlier post truly speaks to me and is my life song for this moment in my life. Waiting here for God is how I would characterize the place I am in because I need His direction on choices that I need to make, I want Him to move and change some of the circumstances of my life right now, and I absolutely want Him to move in my children's lives. But He keeps telling me to wait. I keep asking what I'm waiting for and He keeps telling me "Me". So I am waiting.....
While I have been waiting (and listening to this song over and over), I have been asking God for intimate times with Him. Deeper worship and clarity of what He is telling me. He is answering that prayer. Some days it is all I can do to not walk around with my hands lifted in the air in praise to Him, or just stay flat on my face before Him, asking for more of Him in my life.
Today was no exception. I really wanted to have a deeper worship experience with Him in our corporate worship at church. Don't get me wrong, I kneel and raise my hands and pray to Him when I'm alone. I think those moments are very important. But I also believe that there is something to be said for believers gathering together to give praise to our God. Today I wanted to sit at the alter, at Jesus' feet and worship Him.
So, I prayed, "Jesus, let tonight's service be about worship. Let us sing that song that is resonating within my heart and let me sit at the alter in quiet worship of you". And guess what, He answered me. Only instead of taking this opportunity to do what I had longed to do, I stood in front of my seat and refused the opportunity to sit at His feet. I can't really give you a good reason why. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was wondering what others would think, maybe it was a lot of things. But I know one thing, I missed this opportunity for God to whisper His love for me into my heart. I do not believe that this was the last opportunity that I will have, but it is also one that I can't get back.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss too many of those moments. I want to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus feet and soak up His love for me rather than being like Martha, being so busy or distracted that I can't focus on what is in front of me....Jesus, desiring a relationship with me, Jesus wanting to give me the good gifts that our Father has promised us, Jesus with arms open wide determined to let me know that He loves me.
Father thank you for missed opportunities that teach me lessons and ultimately will draw me closer to You as You teach me about being radically obedient. Not that I want to walk in rebellion Lord but that when I do mess up, when I do fail, You will still work the situation out for good because I am called according to Your purposes, and Your will, will be carried out in my life. Help me God to be radically obedient to You!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Without Water
Well, we survived yesterday without water. I bought 5 gallons of water plus one case (equal to about 3.16 gallons) and already had a half case of water at home. The total was around 9.75 gallons of water and we used it all! Talk about a lesson in how much water we use in a day....
I'll spare you the details of this little adventure, but think Little House on the Prairie and pouring water into pots to boil and tubs and sinks! And, I do not recommend washing your hair with bottles of water....it's cold and difficult to rinse (LOL), I skipped conditioner!
As I was thinking about this today, I thought isn't it good to know that we have another source of water? One that won't ever run out, spring a leak, or be depleted? One that we don't have to buy or earn or search for...we just have to be willing to drink, take Him in and let Him fill us with His fountain of living water. So even though things on this earth may cause us inconvenience, Jesus never fails to give us as much Water (His presence in our lives) as we will drink.
Father thank You for Your Son and that He provides a well for us that will never run dry. Fill up our thirsty souls with the power of Your word and Your presence in our lives. Let us be satisfied with You!
I'll spare you the details of this little adventure, but think Little House on the Prairie and pouring water into pots to boil and tubs and sinks! And, I do not recommend washing your hair with bottles of water....it's cold and difficult to rinse (LOL), I skipped conditioner!
As I was thinking about this today, I thought isn't it good to know that we have another source of water? One that won't ever run out, spring a leak, or be depleted? One that we don't have to buy or earn or search for...we just have to be willing to drink, take Him in and let Him fill us with His fountain of living water. So even though things on this earth may cause us inconvenience, Jesus never fails to give us as much Water (His presence in our lives) as we will drink.
Father thank You for Your Son and that He provides a well for us that will never run dry. Fill up our thirsty souls with the power of Your word and Your presence in our lives. Let us be satisfied with You!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Psalm 130:5
We had a great weekend! Friday I had a fabulous time with our GNO (girls night out) gals from church, Saturday the boys had soccer games. Joseph's team won, but I'm still not sure Zach's team even showed up.LOL. They definitely were not playing their best, but it's not all about winning, anyway. Sunday I got to worship with some dear friends of mine who are visiting from SC. We also had lunch together and then they came to our house to hang out with us a little while. They will be here all week so I am excited to see them for lunch one day, too!
Then I went to church Sunday night and Pastor Tom introduced us to a new song by Christy Nockels, Waiting Here for You. What a powerful worship song that spoke to exactly where I am right now. This will for sure become one of my "life songs" as Jesus continues to work in my life and move me forward in all that He has for me and my boys! There is one thing that I have been praying about and asking God to change. I believe that He already has His plan for this in motion, I just need to wait on Him and prepare myself for the blessing that He is going to bring.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
Father our hope is in You! Help us to delight ourselves in You (Psalm 37:4) and believe that YOU have our best interest in Your heart. We wait for You Lord with expectation and believe that You will give us our hearts desires. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Then I went to church Sunday night and Pastor Tom introduced us to a new song by Christy Nockels, Waiting Here for You. What a powerful worship song that spoke to exactly where I am right now. This will for sure become one of my "life songs" as Jesus continues to work in my life and move me forward in all that He has for me and my boys! There is one thing that I have been praying about and asking God to change. I believe that He already has His plan for this in motion, I just need to wait on Him and prepare myself for the blessing that He is going to bring.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
Father our hope is in You! Help us to delight ourselves in You (Psalm 37:4) and believe that YOU have our best interest in Your heart. We wait for You Lord with expectation and believe that You will give us our hearts desires. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, September 12, 2011
My First 5K
On Friday September 2nd, I ran my first 5K race with a group my sister joined called First Flight. The group was set up for beginners that have never ran a race before. They are so encouraging and motivating. I was always jealous of their group runs during training that I was too far away from!
I have to admit that I was concerned about the race because 1- I had not (I thought) trained enough 2- I am much more inclined to run on the treadmill rather than outside. The few times that I did attempt to run outside were not that successful!
But, I finished the race. 41.18 minutes....which is faster than my "normal" time. It was a lot of fun and not as hard as I had expected. However, I did walk some on the way back up (which actually makes me feel better about my time). The first 1 1/2 miles (approx.) seemed very easy. When I turned to go back up is when the trouble started. I started to feel nauseous so I started walking, when I started walking I got really hungry...go figure! But eventually I walked/ran my way to the finish line.....
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
I have to admit that I was concerned about the race because 1- I had not (I thought) trained enough 2- I am much more inclined to run on the treadmill rather than outside. The few times that I did attempt to run outside were not that successful!
But, I finished the race. 41.18 minutes....which is faster than my "normal" time. It was a lot of fun and not as hard as I had expected. However, I did walk some on the way back up (which actually makes me feel better about my time). The first 1 1/2 miles (approx.) seemed very easy. When I turned to go back up is when the trouble started. I started to feel nauseous so I started walking, when I started walking I got really hungry...go figure! But eventually I walked/ran my way to the finish line.....
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
New Every Morning
I was listening to the song "One Life to Love" by 33 Miles today. I loved that song when it first came out but haven't listened to it in a while. It's about loving the life you have and only having one chance to make the most of it.
I am so guilty of not making the most of every moment and living in the shadow of my regrets rather than moving forward and enjoying the life I have at this moment.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says:
"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness"
No matter what choices I have made or regrets I have, God's love does not fail me. He does not hold my mistakes or sin against me but shows me mercy and gives me a new start every morning. While I was listening to that song, I could "hear" the Lord telling me to stop living in regret. It wasn't an audible voice, but was One that spoke straight to my heart, the still small voice that you know has to be the voice of God.
God wants the same from you, too. He redeems and changes situations in order to prove His faithfulness and that He is a God that keeps His promises. Don't live in regret another day, being it all to Him and lay it down. Move forward in all that God has for you.
Father I thank you that Your mercies are new every morning and that Your mercies never run out on us. You are faithful, and compassionate. Because of this the pain of our past or the thoughts of regrets will not consume us. We will be set free if we surrender these regrets and things of the past to You. Bring Your healing Lord and help us make the most of every new day You give us. In Jesus name, amen.
I am so guilty of not making the most of every moment and living in the shadow of my regrets rather than moving forward and enjoying the life I have at this moment.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says:
"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness"
No matter what choices I have made or regrets I have, God's love does not fail me. He does not hold my mistakes or sin against me but shows me mercy and gives me a new start every morning. While I was listening to that song, I could "hear" the Lord telling me to stop living in regret. It wasn't an audible voice, but was One that spoke straight to my heart, the still small voice that you know has to be the voice of God.
God wants the same from you, too. He redeems and changes situations in order to prove His faithfulness and that He is a God that keeps His promises. Don't live in regret another day, being it all to Him and lay it down. Move forward in all that God has for you.
Father I thank you that Your mercies are new every morning and that Your mercies never run out on us. You are faithful, and compassionate. Because of this the pain of our past or the thoughts of regrets will not consume us. We will be set free if we surrender these regrets and things of the past to You. Bring Your healing Lord and help us make the most of every new day You give us. In Jesus name, amen.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Grace for Today
I didn't get up on time this morning which put me running late for church which makes me crazy! After church I had a dead car battery. That made us late getting to the restaurant to put our name on the list for our rather large group that decided to eat lunch together today. After lunch, battery was dead again. Got car jump started again (by the same teenagers from our youth group) and stopped at Advance Auto. Yep, battery is shot. New battery in place, car still would not stay cranked. An hour later with airflow sensor cleaned we made our way home.
Now I know this sounds like I had a bad day and it was draining. BUT, the Lord kept speaking to me in all this chaos that really drives me crazy....He kept telling me, My grace is enough. No matter what I am facing or how much the situation is getting on my nerves, or how concerned I am with the cost of car repairs, He is all that I need. The Calm in my chaos. Even though my outside world was going crazy today, my inside had peace.
So, on a better note, we had a great time at church and a fun time at lunch with people we love. And, I still have time for a tiny nap before church tonight.
This week remember 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness".
Father, than You for grace. Amen
Now I know this sounds like I had a bad day and it was draining. BUT, the Lord kept speaking to me in all this chaos that really drives me crazy....He kept telling me, My grace is enough. No matter what I am facing or how much the situation is getting on my nerves, or how concerned I am with the cost of car repairs, He is all that I need. The Calm in my chaos. Even though my outside world was going crazy today, my inside had peace.
So, on a better note, we had a great time at church and a fun time at lunch with people we love. And, I still have time for a tiny nap before church tonight.
This week remember 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness".
Father, than You for grace. Amen
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Playing Church
Revelation 3:15-16
"I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth".
I was reluctant to use the scripture because it sounds so harsh, but isn't that what we need sometimes? The reality of God's word to hit us square in the face with truth about how we are living (or not living) our lives.
If we are going to call ourselves Christians God expects us to act like it. We are to be on fire, sold out for Him. Not lackluster or compromising. Do we let Him permeate every area of our lives or do we hold back certain areas? Are we ashamed to stand up for what we believe in certain circumstances?
Either we love Him and have given Him our hearts or we don't. We can't "ride the fence". Don't be satisfied with just enough Jesus to get you into Heaven. Don't PLAY CHURCH! Live what you believe and pursue God with all that is in you.
I have spent many years being "lukewarm". I have played church, known Sunday school lessons, figured out how to talk so that I sounded "spiritual", and pretended that I loved the Lord. But I was always lacking.....was never fulfilled and knew that a real relationship with Jesus was missing.
As I have surrendered more of myself to God and His will for my life, the more I have been filled with His presence and the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me. Don't miss out on all that He has for you by being "lukewarm". Pursue Him today...become "hot", on fire for Him....it is so much better than the other options!
"I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth".
I was reluctant to use the scripture because it sounds so harsh, but isn't that what we need sometimes? The reality of God's word to hit us square in the face with truth about how we are living (or not living) our lives.
If we are going to call ourselves Christians God expects us to act like it. We are to be on fire, sold out for Him. Not lackluster or compromising. Do we let Him permeate every area of our lives or do we hold back certain areas? Are we ashamed to stand up for what we believe in certain circumstances?
Either we love Him and have given Him our hearts or we don't. We can't "ride the fence". Don't be satisfied with just enough Jesus to get you into Heaven. Don't PLAY CHURCH! Live what you believe and pursue God with all that is in you.
I have spent many years being "lukewarm". I have played church, known Sunday school lessons, figured out how to talk so that I sounded "spiritual", and pretended that I loved the Lord. But I was always lacking.....was never fulfilled and knew that a real relationship with Jesus was missing.
As I have surrendered more of myself to God and His will for my life, the more I have been filled with His presence and the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me. Don't miss out on all that He has for you by being "lukewarm". Pursue Him today...become "hot", on fire for Him....it is so much better than the other options!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Change of Circumstance
Well, I finally got out of Isaiah (but I'm sure I will go back) :-)
I was reading in Esther last night and was reminded about how God changed the circumstance that Mordecai was about to face (Esther 6:1-11). I was first introduced to this thought a year or so ago when I was doing Beth Moore's study on Esther, but had forgotten about this passage.
Haman was plotting against Mordecai and was going to have him hanged. But God had other plans. Who but God could have caused King Ahasuerus to not be able to sleep? Who but God could have caused him to want to read (or have read to him) the "book of records..."? It was not a coincidence that the king was reminded of Mordecai, nor that it was that particular time that the king would choose to honor Mordecai for his good deed toward him. And isn't it just like God to use the very one that is plotting against us to bring blessing into our lives?
When you are facing a trial, don't give up. You never know who God is waking up to come to your rescue. Every circumstance can be changed. Just because we don't see what is happening, doesn't mean that God is not calling out the things that can change what we are going through.
Trust Him today, believe Him today. There is a King who does not sleep and works everything for good to those that love him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Father we thank You because You are the King who does not sleep. You always have our best interest at heart and will work to bless us even when others want to curse us. You are holy and You are Lord of all. We rest in Your presence today and give every circumstance and situation to You. Help us to trust You and believe that Your word is true and alive in our lives. In Jesus name, Amen.
I was reading in Esther last night and was reminded about how God changed the circumstance that Mordecai was about to face (Esther 6:1-11). I was first introduced to this thought a year or so ago when I was doing Beth Moore's study on Esther, but had forgotten about this passage.
Haman was plotting against Mordecai and was going to have him hanged. But God had other plans. Who but God could have caused King Ahasuerus to not be able to sleep? Who but God could have caused him to want to read (or have read to him) the "book of records..."? It was not a coincidence that the king was reminded of Mordecai, nor that it was that particular time that the king would choose to honor Mordecai for his good deed toward him. And isn't it just like God to use the very one that is plotting against us to bring blessing into our lives?
When you are facing a trial, don't give up. You never know who God is waking up to come to your rescue. Every circumstance can be changed. Just because we don't see what is happening, doesn't mean that God is not calling out the things that can change what we are going through.
Trust Him today, believe Him today. There is a King who does not sleep and works everything for good to those that love him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Father we thank You because You are the King who does not sleep. You always have our best interest at heart and will work to bless us even when others want to curse us. You are holy and You are Lord of all. We rest in Your presence today and give every circumstance and situation to You. Help us to trust You and believe that Your word is true and alive in our lives. In Jesus name, Amen.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
My Ways
I just can't seem to get out of the book of Isaiah lately. Especially chapters 54 and 55. Today my heart is on Isaiah 55:8-11.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts higher than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth and it shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."
I have so many plans. Plans for my career, plans for my kids, plans for my personal life (that I hope includes at least a boyfriend in the near future), plans for everything! I am very much a planner and do not deal well with the plan falling apart.
But through some circumstances lately (and me looking a little foolish), God has reminded me that my plans are NOT His. I have always felt a call of God on my life. I haven't always known what that call is (was) but I have spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. "It could be working in this area or doing this thing or how about I try this for a little while".....are all things that I do/think rather than sitting still, asking God where He wants me and then listening for His answer.
Lately I have been listening and while I still don't know exactly which direction to take, this is what I do know, God is calling me to teach. I'm not sure what capacity or who He wants me to teach (other than my boys and that is my first priority), but I know that, that is my calling. In order to do that I have to know His word and spend more time with Him. That is the season I am in right now, and I feel filled up with Jesus and can't wait to see what is next.
I also know that somewhere there is a godly man that is made just for me, and that he and I will minister (maybe even teach) together. I'm not saying I'm called to be a Pastor's wife, just that there will be some sort of ministry we are supposed to be involved in.
So while I wait for more direction (and Prince Charming) I will praise Him and serve Him and remember that His plans are not my plans, but unlike my plans, His plans won't bring hurt and disappointment or void in my life but will bear much fruit and return to Him the purpose that He created me for.
Father thank you for every opportunity that Your plans give to me. Help me make the most of them and to give you glory in all things. You know the plans that you have for me and for whoever may be reading this blog. They are plans to prosper us, to give us a future and a hope, not to harm us. We know that You are greater than any thing or circumstance that we face, and if we trust You, You will not only see us through those things but You will bring forth many blessings in our lives and Your will, will be carried out. In Jesus Name, Amen.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts higher than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth and it shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."
I have so many plans. Plans for my career, plans for my kids, plans for my personal life (that I hope includes at least a boyfriend in the near future), plans for everything! I am very much a planner and do not deal well with the plan falling apart.
But through some circumstances lately (and me looking a little foolish), God has reminded me that my plans are NOT His. I have always felt a call of God on my life. I haven't always known what that call is (was) but I have spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. "It could be working in this area or doing this thing or how about I try this for a little while".....are all things that I do/think rather than sitting still, asking God where He wants me and then listening for His answer.
Lately I have been listening and while I still don't know exactly which direction to take, this is what I do know, God is calling me to teach. I'm not sure what capacity or who He wants me to teach (other than my boys and that is my first priority), but I know that, that is my calling. In order to do that I have to know His word and spend more time with Him. That is the season I am in right now, and I feel filled up with Jesus and can't wait to see what is next.
I also know that somewhere there is a godly man that is made just for me, and that he and I will minister (maybe even teach) together. I'm not saying I'm called to be a Pastor's wife, just that there will be some sort of ministry we are supposed to be involved in.
So while I wait for more direction (and Prince Charming) I will praise Him and serve Him and remember that His plans are not my plans, but unlike my plans, His plans won't bring hurt and disappointment or void in my life but will bear much fruit and return to Him the purpose that He created me for.
Father thank you for every opportunity that Your plans give to me. Help me make the most of them and to give you glory in all things. You know the plans that you have for me and for whoever may be reading this blog. They are plans to prosper us, to give us a future and a hope, not to harm us. We know that You are greater than any thing or circumstance that we face, and if we trust You, You will not only see us through those things but You will bring forth many blessings in our lives and Your will, will be carried out. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Isaiah 54
The boys and me have been praying about having peace in our home for a couple of months now. Not because there is a lot of continuous turmoil, but because it just seemed that we were so busy all the time, exhausted and things were becoming chaotic. We want, not just peace between us and others, but peace in our hearts and minds so that we don't become consumed with a never-ending to do list, or overwhelmed by whatever life is throwing at us at a particular moment.
After a couple of weeks is us praying this way, I picked up my Bible (already opened....sometimes I will just open my Bible at no particular spot and leave it lying on the table or desk. Not out of some sort of religious ritual or anything like that, just because it comforts me to see God's word so close, and reminds me when I'm not spending enough time reading it :o)) that was opened to Isaiah 54. This is what it says (vs. 11-14:
"O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, and your foundations with sapphires. I will make your battlements of rubies and your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace. In righteousness you will be established....."
There are many other things that spoke to me in this whole chapter concerning my own thoughts and struggles, but the words I put in bold jumped off the page at me. God's promise, His answer to our prayers. His word at just the right time, in the right moment as confirmation to our hearts' desires.
Father, I thank you that Your word is alive and lives in us. I thank You that You give us confirmation and that You are faithful to us in every circumstance. Your peace does pass all understanding, and we accept that peace today. We move forward standing on Your word and resting in Your peace. Amen
After a couple of weeks is us praying this way, I picked up my Bible (already opened....sometimes I will just open my Bible at no particular spot and leave it lying on the table or desk. Not out of some sort of religious ritual or anything like that, just because it comforts me to see God's word so close, and reminds me when I'm not spending enough time reading it :o)) that was opened to Isaiah 54. This is what it says (vs. 11-14:
"O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, and your foundations with sapphires. I will make your battlements of rubies and your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace. In righteousness you will be established....."
There are many other things that spoke to me in this whole chapter concerning my own thoughts and struggles, but the words I put in bold jumped off the page at me. God's promise, His answer to our prayers. His word at just the right time, in the right moment as confirmation to our hearts' desires.
Father, I thank you that Your word is alive and lives in us. I thank You that You give us confirmation and that You are faithful to us in every circumstance. Your peace does pass all understanding, and we accept that peace today. We move forward standing on Your word and resting in Your peace. Amen
Monday, May 23, 2011
School is out...almost!
The boys' last day of school is Friday and I am very glad. This will give me a little extra time in the mornings and a whole lot less stress of trying to get Zachary (definitely not a morning child) up and out the door! I have been trying to prepare them for their responsibilities this summer....things that involve more than eating junk, watching tv and sleeping all day....I'll let you know how much of their chores that they actually get done. Happy summer everyone!
Monday, May 09, 2011
The Rest of NYC
I had every intention of writing about NY everyday but after Tuesday things just became a blur! Tuesday night we ended up at the Empire State Building. I am so glad we decided to go at night (even though I am sure that during the day it is just as beautiful).....I don't even know how far you can see but it seems almost as far as Tennessee!!
Wednesday we got up and headed to Central Park where I got into an argument with a street vendor who tried to charge Joseph $7 for a hot dog....it was not a pretty sight but we did end up with a snow cone and a hot dog for $7. Thankfully all of the other street vendors only charged $1 or $2 for a hot dog. Since that is the only thing that Zach wanted to eat while we were there it ended up pretty good for me....that is the least expensive thing that I bought the whole time. After Central Park we walked and walked and walked looking for the "Hello Deli" that David Letterman talks about on his show....we wanted to eat there but found that it is a tiny little place with hardly any seating and was packed at lunch time....we settled for another little restaurant around the corner from there...we then took the subway down to Ground Zero. I was surprised at the amount of construction...there really wasn't much to see except a lot of equipment. There was still a feeling to it...just being there, I'm not really sure how to describe it. After that we hopped on a bus and went down to the ferry....we took a ride over to Stanton (is that right??) Island and got a great view of the Statue of Liberty and great pictures of the city from across the river. Then back to Times Square.....after we got back to the hotel we prayed for our family and friends in the path of those horrible storms....I even called Granny at 11:15 because I was worried when the weather channel said a tornado touched down east of Knoxville (which is where Sevier County is...where I live)....Thankfully she, Woody and Patches were OK but it had been scary!
Thursday we headed out to Macy's where you really need an entire day! It is 10 floors (I think the map said) and has everything that you can think of! Zachary made friends with the women in the children's department and kept picking things up for them....it drove me crazy because I had to keep chasing him all over the place instead of shopping but the ladies LOVED him and offered him a job ;o) Actually, Zach made A LOT of friends in NY....he talked to everyone and they all entered into a conversation with him....it was so funny, he cracked everybody up! Thursday afternoon Sherri and Jan got in line to buy tickets for a show and me, the boys and Uncle Clay took a trip to the Museum of Natural History...to our dissappointment, the museum closed 20 minutes after we arrived....I should have checked the hours before we hit the subway. But, we did get to see the dinosaurs which were really cool!
Joseph and Uncle Clay went to the movies Wednesday and Thursday nights. They weren't ready for bed when we were (11pm)....after Zach had been walking all day without a nap....we both needed to be put in timeout!
Friday morning we finished packing and made one last trip to Times Square and then headed to the airport. We were all sorry that our time had come to an end but glad that we might actually get to rest when we got home. What a fun trip...I'm so glad I decided to take the boys...I hope we get to go back soon!
Here are a few more pics.....there are lots more on Facebook.
Wednesday we got up and headed to Central Park where I got into an argument with a street vendor who tried to charge Joseph $7 for a hot dog....it was not a pretty sight but we did end up with a snow cone and a hot dog for $7. Thankfully all of the other street vendors only charged $1 or $2 for a hot dog. Since that is the only thing that Zach wanted to eat while we were there it ended up pretty good for me....that is the least expensive thing that I bought the whole time. After Central Park we walked and walked and walked looking for the "Hello Deli" that David Letterman talks about on his show....we wanted to eat there but found that it is a tiny little place with hardly any seating and was packed at lunch time....we settled for another little restaurant around the corner from there...we then took the subway down to Ground Zero. I was surprised at the amount of construction...there really wasn't much to see except a lot of equipment. There was still a feeling to it...just being there, I'm not really sure how to describe it. After that we hopped on a bus and went down to the ferry....we took a ride over to Stanton (is that right??) Island and got a great view of the Statue of Liberty and great pictures of the city from across the river. Then back to Times Square.....after we got back to the hotel we prayed for our family and friends in the path of those horrible storms....I even called Granny at 11:15 because I was worried when the weather channel said a tornado touched down east of Knoxville (which is where Sevier County is...where I live)....Thankfully she, Woody and Patches were OK but it had been scary!
Thursday we headed out to Macy's where you really need an entire day! It is 10 floors (I think the map said) and has everything that you can think of! Zachary made friends with the women in the children's department and kept picking things up for them....it drove me crazy because I had to keep chasing him all over the place instead of shopping but the ladies LOVED him and offered him a job ;o) Actually, Zach made A LOT of friends in NY....he talked to everyone and they all entered into a conversation with him....it was so funny, he cracked everybody up! Thursday afternoon Sherri and Jan got in line to buy tickets for a show and me, the boys and Uncle Clay took a trip to the Museum of Natural History...to our dissappointment, the museum closed 20 minutes after we arrived....I should have checked the hours before we hit the subway. But, we did get to see the dinosaurs which were really cool!
Joseph and Uncle Clay went to the movies Wednesday and Thursday nights. They weren't ready for bed when we were (11pm)....after Zach had been walking all day without a nap....we both needed to be put in timeout!
Friday morning we finished packing and made one last trip to Times Square and then headed to the airport. We were all sorry that our time had come to an end but glad that we might actually get to rest when we got home. What a fun trip...I'm so glad I decided to take the boys...I hope we get to go back soon!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Chinatown
Today we ventured onto the subway and into Chinatown. It was an experience to say the least. When we got off the subway and started walking down the street a girl asked us if we were interested in purses. Sherri told her yes and we started walking....we stopped where a couple of other girls were and they handed us laminated cards with pictures of purses (think Coach, Prada, etc...). They kept asking us what we liked and when we didn't seem interested, they asked us if we wanted to see the store. We said yes. Well, we followed the first girl a couple of blocks down where she handed us off to another girl who took us down a street that was getting a little creepy looking. We finally got to this dark little store and went inside (all seven of us, not just Sherri and me). After we went in she opened the "wall" and led us to the back room where there were rows of "name brand" purses and wallets.....I'm not kidding.....we ended up buying two "Coach" purses and a "Coach" wallet. I have two Coach purses that I bought at the Coach store....I can't tell the difference.....only instead of hundreds of dollars, these were $30.....lest you think we spent all of our time in the "dark", there were shops in broad daylight which we bought items from :o) However, people running one of the stores where we declined to purchase sunglasses told us to "get lost"..LOL....they really did....we are still laughing about it. Anyway, we have been to Chinatown and survived.....
Monday, April 25, 2011
Our First Day in NY
Thursday, April 07, 2011
What is up with that?
Today when we were on our way to a ball game Zach starts lecturing me on how his dad and I should learn how to get along and not fight and that God tells us to love each other. I told him (at least a dozen times since our divorce) that his dad and me are not married anymore and he said, "but you still love each other". I finally just agreed that yes, God expects us to love each other and that we should get along. This had gone on for about 5 minutes. What makes this really surprising is that I hardly talk to Dan in front of the boys (actually, I hardly talk to him at all). I guess he just remembers that we used to fight.
I'm not sure what prompted Zach's thoughts today, but today was not the best day (for me) for him to bring that up. Two nights in a row I have dreamed that Dan and me were still married and today has been one of those days where the whole 17 years that we spent together (mostly bad, but some really good times) played all through my head. Of course this leads to other thoughts about whether or not I should have stayed married and a replay of everything that I did wrong (yes, I admit it wasn't all Dan's fault) during our marriage.
I realize that all of this is probably compounded because of my tired, over scheduled and usually hormonally out-of-balanced life. I'm not sure why I wrote this, I guess I just wanted to talk about it. Don't worry friends and family who aren't fans of Dan, I'm not running out to get back together with him.....it's just been a weird few days.
I'm not sure what prompted Zach's thoughts today, but today was not the best day (for me) for him to bring that up. Two nights in a row I have dreamed that Dan and me were still married and today has been one of those days where the whole 17 years that we spent together (mostly bad, but some really good times) played all through my head. Of course this leads to other thoughts about whether or not I should have stayed married and a replay of everything that I did wrong (yes, I admit it wasn't all Dan's fault) during our marriage.
I realize that all of this is probably compounded because of my tired, over scheduled and usually hormonally out-of-balanced life. I'm not sure why I wrote this, I guess I just wanted to talk about it. Don't worry friends and family who aren't fans of Dan, I'm not running out to get back together with him.....it's just been a weird few days.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
The Strong Willed Child
If there ever was a strong willed child, his name is Zachary. I don't mean that he is a bad child, but he is just the one that is going to test every boundary and definitely try to do things his way. Somedays it is all I can do to have enough energy to keep him somewhat obedient. But I love him with all my heart. I wouldn't trade the chaos and craziness for anything else. Even though I know he is hard to deal with at times, it makes me sad that others night not like him or think bad about him. Because I know who he really is.
Don't you think that's how our Father sees us? He knows that most of the time we are out of control and set on doing things our way, but He loves us anyway. He sees the REAL us. The person that He knows we are and no matter what we think about ourselves or anyone else thinks about us, we are His! He is jealous for us. He wants our time, talents, hearts. Not just so he can control us or extort His authority but so that He can make us the best person we can be. Just like with Zach, I don't keep him reigned in because I want to control him, but because I know he must learn certain things to become a compasionate, responsible and hopefully godly man.
Obedience, or lack of, can bring many good things even if being obedient makes us uncomfortable. Romans 19:1 says "For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous". So the question is, do we want to be like Adam and not set the example for others, or do we want to be like Christ and bring light into this world?
Obedience is very hard for me. This is probably where Zach gets it from. But I know that obeying God has far more benefits that out weigh the discomfort of surrendering my will to His. Plus, it is just the RIGHT thing to do. I taught Zach Ephesians 6:1 in a moment of battle between us about learning scripture when he said, "I don't want that verse, I want another one". So I said ok, here is your verse, "children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right". Doesn't that apply to us to? Children (you and me (and Zach)) obey your parent (God) in the Lord (His ways, according to His word) because this is the right thing to do.
Be obedient today (pointing fingers at myself) ao that you can "eat the good of the land" (Isaiah 1:19)
Don't you think that's how our Father sees us? He knows that most of the time we are out of control and set on doing things our way, but He loves us anyway. He sees the REAL us. The person that He knows we are and no matter what we think about ourselves or anyone else thinks about us, we are His! He is jealous for us. He wants our time, talents, hearts. Not just so he can control us or extort His authority but so that He can make us the best person we can be. Just like with Zach, I don't keep him reigned in because I want to control him, but because I know he must learn certain things to become a compasionate, responsible and hopefully godly man.
Obedience, or lack of, can bring many good things even if being obedient makes us uncomfortable. Romans 19:1 says "For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous". So the question is, do we want to be like Adam and not set the example for others, or do we want to be like Christ and bring light into this world?
Obedience is very hard for me. This is probably where Zach gets it from. But I know that obeying God has far more benefits that out weigh the discomfort of surrendering my will to His. Plus, it is just the RIGHT thing to do. I taught Zach Ephesians 6:1 in a moment of battle between us about learning scripture when he said, "I don't want that verse, I want another one". So I said ok, here is your verse, "children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right". Doesn't that apply to us to? Children (you and me (and Zach)) obey your parent (God) in the Lord (His ways, according to His word) because this is the right thing to do.
Be obedient today (pointing fingers at myself) ao that you can "eat the good of the land" (Isaiah 1:19)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Love
"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so...", John 3:16, "for God so loved the world"....these are things we are taught from a young age about how God loves us, but do we really believe that He loves us?
For a lot of years I did not let the reality of God's love sink into my heart. I kept it at a distance thinking that it is for the "good people", not me. But, Paul gives us the truth in Romans 8:38-39 when he says,
"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
This means that God loves me when I am doing everything right....praying, Bible study, teaching my kids, being a positive influence and example, and any other thing that we would deem as good and "righteous". BUT, God also loves me when I mess up, when I yell at my kids, don't spend as much time in prayer as I should, neglect my Bible study, don't stand up for what I believe in, and the list goes on. We never reach perfection but not being perfect doesn't make God love us any less.
I used to think that when something bad happened or things were really tough that God was punishing me because I couldn't live up to His expectation, or that these things were happening in my life because God did not love me. Boy, was I wrong. I mean, yes, our choices and disobedience gets us into a world of trouble most of the time but it is not because God doesn't love us. He does love us enough to let us get taught a lesson. Just like we have to let our own children learn from their choices sometimes. God could fix everything for us, but would we learn anything or just keep walking around that same mountain, going through the same trials? Believe me, I have been there, too!
Thankfully, "Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning..." (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Believe that He loves you today, and that His love is unconditional!
For a lot of years I did not let the reality of God's love sink into my heart. I kept it at a distance thinking that it is for the "good people", not me. But, Paul gives us the truth in Romans 8:38-39 when he says,
"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
This means that God loves me when I am doing everything right....praying, Bible study, teaching my kids, being a positive influence and example, and any other thing that we would deem as good and "righteous". BUT, God also loves me when I mess up, when I yell at my kids, don't spend as much time in prayer as I should, neglect my Bible study, don't stand up for what I believe in, and the list goes on. We never reach perfection but not being perfect doesn't make God love us any less.
I used to think that when something bad happened or things were really tough that God was punishing me because I couldn't live up to His expectation, or that these things were happening in my life because God did not love me. Boy, was I wrong. I mean, yes, our choices and disobedience gets us into a world of trouble most of the time but it is not because God doesn't love us. He does love us enough to let us get taught a lesson. Just like we have to let our own children learn from their choices sometimes. God could fix everything for us, but would we learn anything or just keep walking around that same mountain, going through the same trials? Believe me, I have been there, too!
Thankfully, "Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning..." (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Believe that He loves you today, and that His love is unconditional!
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Identity Crisis
I changed the name of this blog to identity crisis because I couldn't really think of name. It was originally 4jordans, but since we are only 3 Jordans now, I wanted to change it. I like this name for a number of reasons, most of all, maybe, because I am about to encounter a major identity crisis! Jesus has really been working on me lately and I can't wait to see all the He has in store.
If you are part of the GNO Life Group, I can't wait to start sharing with you ladies about Crazy Love! I know God is going to speak to us in new ways. I pray that we all realize how great His love for us is and to relentlessly pursue Him the way He pursues us!
If you are part of the GNO Life Group, I can't wait to start sharing with you ladies about Crazy Love! I know God is going to speak to us in new ways. I pray that we all realize how great His love for us is and to relentlessly pursue Him the way He pursues us!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Change
Change a little word that can have BIG implications! What better time of year to talk about change than the beginning! We all the make resolutions and sometimes stick to them....but what makes it so hard for us to start changing or make the change permanent?
Some of the lessons in the Bible study that I have been doing have talked about little children and how Jesus loved them. This caused me to think about what it means to become like a little child (Matthew 18:3-4). Did Jesus mean to have a child's unaltered faith and trust or their honesty? Maybe it is their determination.
Determination. Is that what it takes to accomplish change? When I was young, middle school age, I desperately wanted to fit into a particular group at school. I distinctly remember telling myself over and over that there was no reason that I could not be friends with this group, and continually sought similarities between me and the kids in this group. I started taking to them and sometimes hanging around with them. I have to say that I wasn't ever invited into their closest circles but I did change my circumstances and the way my middle school and high school years turned out. Why is it so hard for me now to have the same determination to change my circumstances, my attitude, the things in my life that I know God is telling me to change for my own good?
I have not made any "resloutions" this year because God has started a change in me that I don't think requires a resolution. Pursuing a deeper relationship with Him is something that He has called me to do and I cannot (and don't even want to try) resolve to it without Him. I am starting this New Year with Philippians 3:12-14,
"12) Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13) Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14) I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
No matter if you make a resolution or not, do make God a priority in your life this year. Your efforts and God's faithfulness will not return void!
Some of the lessons in the Bible study that I have been doing have talked about little children and how Jesus loved them. This caused me to think about what it means to become like a little child (Matthew 18:3-4). Did Jesus mean to have a child's unaltered faith and trust or their honesty? Maybe it is their determination.
Determination. Is that what it takes to accomplish change? When I was young, middle school age, I desperately wanted to fit into a particular group at school. I distinctly remember telling myself over and over that there was no reason that I could not be friends with this group, and continually sought similarities between me and the kids in this group. I started taking to them and sometimes hanging around with them. I have to say that I wasn't ever invited into their closest circles but I did change my circumstances and the way my middle school and high school years turned out. Why is it so hard for me now to have the same determination to change my circumstances, my attitude, the things in my life that I know God is telling me to change for my own good?
I have not made any "resloutions" this year because God has started a change in me that I don't think requires a resolution. Pursuing a deeper relationship with Him is something that He has called me to do and I cannot (and don't even want to try) resolve to it without Him. I am starting this New Year with Philippians 3:12-14,
"12) Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13) Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14) I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
No matter if you make a resolution or not, do make God a priority in your life this year. Your efforts and God's faithfulness will not return void!
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