Radical Obedience

I have been reading another book by Lysa Terkeurt called What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. This book is all about being radically obedient to Christ and the things that He asks us to do in our daily lives. Essentially, giving our whole lives to Him, asking Him how we should handle every decision, situation, and choice that we have to make. And then following through with the answer that He gives us whether it was what we had planned or not.

I would like to say that I read this book, did the Bible study and became radically obedient the minute I was finished. However, I am about 3/4 through the book, have not done the Bible study part of it yet, and failed at a simple little thing that I felt God calling me to do tonight. And, what's worse is that I had asked God for the very thing that I would be disobedient about.

Now before anyone thinks that I am going to live with this and let it affect how I move forward, I know that there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that Jesus forgives me for this mishap and will give me many more opportunities to be radically obedient for Him.

The song that I blogged about in an earlier post truly speaks to me and is my life song for this moment in my life. Waiting here for God is how I would characterize the place I am in because I need His direction on choices that I need to make, I want Him to move and change some of the circumstances of my life right now, and I absolutely want Him to move in my children's lives. But He keeps telling me to wait. I keep asking what I'm waiting for and He keeps telling me "Me". So I am waiting.....

While I have been waiting (and listening to this song over and over), I have been asking God for intimate times with Him. Deeper worship and clarity of what He is telling me. He is answering that prayer. Some days it is all I can do to not walk around with my hands lifted in the air in praise to Him, or just stay flat on my face before Him, asking for more of Him in my life.

Today was no exception. I really wanted to have a deeper worship experience with Him in our corporate worship at church. Don't get me wrong, I kneel and raise my hands and pray to Him when I'm alone. I think those moments are very important. But I also believe that there is something to be said for believers gathering together to give praise to our God. Today I wanted to sit at the alter, at Jesus' feet and worship Him.

So, I prayed, "Jesus, let tonight's service be about worship. Let us sing that song that is resonating within my heart and let me sit at the alter in quiet worship of you". And guess what, He answered me. Only instead of taking this opportunity to do what I had longed to do, I stood in front of my seat and refused the opportunity to sit at His feet. I can't really give you a good reason why. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was wondering what others would think, maybe it was a lot of things. But I know one thing, I missed this opportunity for God to whisper His love for me into my heart. I do not believe that this was the last opportunity that I will have, but it is also one that I can't get back.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss too many of those moments. I want to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus feet and soak up His love for me rather than being like Martha, being so busy or distracted that I can't focus on what is in front of me....Jesus, desiring a relationship with me, Jesus wanting to give me the good gifts that our Father has promised us, Jesus with arms open wide determined to let me know that He loves me.

Father thank you for missed opportunities that teach me lessons and ultimately will draw me closer to You as You teach me about being radically obedient. Not that I want to walk in rebellion Lord but that when I do mess up, when I do fail, You will still work the situation out for good because I am called according to Your purposes, and Your will, will be carried out in my life. Help me God to be radically obedient to You!