Full Circle

In Philippians 1:6 the Apostle Paul is encouraging the church of Philippi by stating that he is certain that He who began a good work in them would see it to completion. Essentially, what God has started will not be abandoned, He will fulfill His promises and His call in our lives. 

In June of 1991, I was a 17 year-old girl headed off for college with dreams of becoming a teacher. Teaching was something that I felt called to do, it was embedded in my heart. There was not another career that even entered my realm of thinking. The Lord opened a very wide door for me to pursue teaching and change the trajectory of my life. However, I was too immature, insecure, undisciplined, fill in the blank with any number of adjectives, to stay on this path of opportunity. 

Fast forward 15 years and 2 kids later I was still a wreck, but had somehow managed to build a career for myself in Hospitality & Tourism. This career brought me to Tennessee in the fall of 2006. As I began to establish myself in the community, the Lord began speaking to me about the dreams He had placed in me as a child. 

Fast forward another 15 years, I have successfully obtained 3 college degrees, and when presented with another wide open door I walked through it with the confidence that God was completing the work that He had begun in me so many years ago. As I enter into my second year of teaching high school, I am in awe of the (one and only) God who did not give up on me or the calling that He had for my life. 

This is my full-circle. This is the completion of His work in me. This is the redemption of grace, and healing from my past that makes the future possible. No matter where you are today, God has not given up on you. He has not forgotten the hopes, dreams, promises that He placed in your heart. Be encouraged, and, like the Apostle Paul, realize that some of the things we go through on the way to God's completion serve to further the gospel and lead others to Him. 

Be brave, be confident, and trust the Lord to bring you full-circle into His will and plan for your life. 

Not Stuck, Just Waiting

Sunday our pastor taught on how we might feel stuck in our situations. But, what really is happening is that God is asking us to wait. This was a timely message for me as my wait often feels like a stuck. This is prehaps the biggest wrestle that I have with the Lord because I am a "let's get this done, how can I make this happen, bring it on" kind of gal. Because of this, my waits are not short or very pretty.

The last two years have proved to be some of the hardest I have faced. I never thought that operating a brand new hotel could be so much of a challenge. The whole shebang has been one challenge right after another. Everything that I thought I knew about this industry and running a hotel has been challenged. I can't keep staff, nothing is stable, what I thought I knew about the budgeting/financial process, and how to read financials apparently is completly wrong. And, the list goes on....somedays I question how I even got this far in this industry.

Along side these challenges, I see doors closing that I was SURE that God opened. I have been talked to about promotion only to have nothing more be said, I have been pursued by another company only to have that pursuit abandoned after I showed interest in making the switch. I applied for teaching a teaching position in which I received a rejection letter not five minutes after I submitted the application (even though I knew someone who sat on that school's board of directors). I was chosen to be on an education committee to review curriculm for vocational education, specifically, hospitality education, only to be told recently that they no longer needed me for this commitee. Ideas that I presented in our community for hospitality education that were intially rejected have recently come to fruition under the suggestions of someone else. Really, the list could go on.

I don't say all of this so that you will feel sorry for me. I say this because these are indications that God is asking me to wait...just a little bit longer. They are indications that what I thought was good, is not the BEST that God has in store for me. That is true for you, too.

God asks us to wait, to endure because He has greater things in store for us than what we can comprehend. He knows our hearts, our desires, and, more importantly, His plans for us. Waiting isn't easy and often feels like stuck. The weight of our circumstances makes it really difficult to wait.

However, when we surrender that weight to embrace God's wait we will see that, "through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness . The Lord is my portion...therefore, I hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him," (Lamentations 3:22-25).

Judgement vs Grace

I read a blog post yesterday that disturbed me. In this post the Christian author was talking about divorce and the biblical mandates for it. She said some things that I agree with....God hates divorce, divorce hurts no matter what situation caused it, and we should always pray, seek council, and exhaust all other options before resorting to divorce....I agree 100%. That was the case in my situation, and I saw first hand how divorce, even though it was somewhat a relief, still hurt me and my children.

Now, before I move on with this post, I want to make a disclaimer that I in no way, shape, or form condone divorce for just any reason, or think it should be entered into shallowly. If you enter into a covenant with someone, you should remain faithful to that covenant until you have done everything in your power to resolve the issues. I do believe that society in general has taken a lackadaisical attitude concerning divorce, and it has become convenience rather than something thought-out, and a last resort. I believe that is wrong, and millions of people are hurting themselves and others because of selfish agendas. 

Ok, back to the post....:)

One thing that bothered me about her post was her mindset of following the letter of the law rather than showing grace. She justified her two divorces as based on biblical reasons that she could divorce (adultery and abandonment), but left no room for issues such as abuse (physical, mental, sexual), alcohol/drug addiction, etc...we do not know anyone's situation, who are we to judge what has transpired in their family and relationships, what has transpired between them and God? Her attitude was simply that unless you could say your spouse cheated on you or abandoned you, you should stay married. It is not as black and white as presented in her post. But, perhaps what bothered me more was her desire to drag ministry leaders into the conversation, and applaud one while demeaning the other.

She gave two examples of popular ministers/Bible teachers' daughters that have gone through divorce. One who handled her divorce "the right way," and put all the details out for the world to see, and another who should be removed from ministry because of her lack of transparency about what she and her family went through. What I want to say is, what business is it of ours? What gives us the right to demand the details of her (their) divorces be placed on the open alter of public opinion? It really made me made that we have become so presumptuous as to assume that everybody owes us an explanation for everything in their lives. In the words for Stephanie from Full House....How Rude.

I realize that if you are the public spotlight, and you are teaching/preaching/leading, there are certain standards that you are held to (James 1:3). That, however, does not mean that you are required to declare every personal detail about your life, or justify every decision you make. There should be some element of transparency for the sake of accountability, but we should not be mad or judgemental when we do not get to know every single detail of their lives.

So, my point to this whole post is that what would happen if we truly showed grace, and took seriously the fact that our judgement of others will bring harsher judgement on ourselves (Matthew 7:1-2)? I don't know about you, but I have plenty the Lord needs to deal with me about without me asking for more by judging others. If we see something that doesn't quite line up with Scripture, we should pray, not judge. Before we pass judgement, we should ask ourselves what if the roles were reversed... would we want our closets emptied in the public arena?

I don't know about you, but I have enough to contend with dealing with the plank in my own eye. I don't really have time to judge the splinter in my brother's and sister's eyes (Matthew 7:3). Show grace today- it makes a much better impact than judgement.

Your Name

I strongly dislike going to Walmart. I don't know why I continually subject myself to such torture, but yesterday was one of those days that I chose to do so. While I was standing in line at the deli counter (somewhat patiently for a change) giving the overworked and underpaid worker my order, I noticed his name tag. His name is Allen, and for some reason I felt compelled to say his name when I thanked him for the chicken, turkey, and ham he handed me. Weird, I thought, that I would feel the need to call someone by name....the feeling proceeded to follow me to the checkout line (where my patience was all but gone). Here a gentleman named Chuck checked out a long line of people ready to begin their vacation intertwined with some gluttons for punishment like myself. I ended my Walmart ordeal with a "thank you, Chuck," and walked out the door still pondering why I needed to call them by name.

There are all sorts of assumptions that can be made- maybe I was having a moment of insanity (very likely), maybe they needed to hear their name to know that someone was paying attention, maybe I needed a reminder of how to be polite and respectful to people that are serving me, maybe it really had no meaning at all...But, there is One who knows your name.

God knows your name. Whether you are the deli clerk, the cashier, or the impatient shopper, He cares about you, loves you. Life can sometimes make us feel isolated and alone, but that is a lie of the enemy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, known even before you formed in your mother's womb. When God calls out to you, He doesn't need a name-tag to identify you, He doesn't wrack His brain trying to remember your name. He knows who you are, what you are going through, and what you need. Listen for Him to call your name today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NHQJWdXfFE

Five Years Ago

Five years ago I was a single mom without any real prospects at finding a relationship that might amount to anything. I was so lonely at times I didn't know what to do. But, in October 2013 God saw fit to answer my prayers, and I was introduced to Scott. Not only did the Lord bring me a wonderful husband, He gave me a fabulous mother-in-law as well.

From the first time I met Betty, she welcomed me into her home, and loved me and the boys like we were her own. It never seemed like we had just met, but like we had always been family. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we talked about life, death, and all manner of things in between....and, we especially liked teasing Scott about her newfound crush on Thor when he was introduced in the Avenger movies.

Betty was compassionate, loving, and touched many lives. Everyone who knew her loved her. In April 2016 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Instead of asking "why me" she dug her heels in, and faced this battle head on. She was an inspiration to everyone who talked to her. No matter how bad she felt she walked with a smile, and offered words of encouragement along with statements of faith to those she came in contact with.

In April of this year we thought that we might win this fight. However, in June we were told we would not. Even then Betty kept her smile. On August 8th we moved Betty in with us. I won't say that this was easy for any of us. Betty was fiercely independent, and I am sure that this was the hardest part for her. However, I will say that I would not take back one second that we had with her. The only regret is that we could not get her to move in sooner.

We couldn't go eat or shop anymore, but we could laugh and tease the boys and enjoy the time we had left. On September 21st she traded this world for the next. There is a huge hole in our hearts and an empty space in our house. Betty Lou we miss you like crazy, but only for a little while.

Faith....Patience

I am not a patient person. As a matter of fact, I am a cut-n-dry, here's the problem and the solution so let's fix it kind of person. I don't pray for patience, I know better, because that is a sure fire way to find myself in a situation that requires me to be patient. But, despite my admission of being impatient, and the struggle that I have with that, what does God ask me to do? That's right, be patient....

James 1: 2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

This trial with Joseph is anything but joyful, and I want to do everything but persevere. I want to defend myself, I want to beg and plead with Joseph come back home and go back to school, I want to hate the ones who are manipulating him who look like heroes in his eyes...But, instead God is asking me to have faith. Faith when I don't know where Joseph is or what he's doing, faith when punches are thrown at me from lying mouths that influence my children, faith that no matter what He is in control. Faith to be patient, and watch God work. 

Faith is what we hope for, belief in what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1), faith means that the answer doesn't always come when I want it to, or even the way I want it to. Sometimes exercising faith will make us think that we are losing (which is what I feel right now), faith will help us to keep seeing the truth when we are surrounded by lies. Faith will complete a perfect work in us, and change us into the person God wants us to be. 

His ways are not my ways....

My last post was a little dramatic...hahaha. I try to stay away from the drama, but isn't that what usually draws us into things? Our favorite books, favorite television shows, even our favorite preachers have some element of drama that keeps us engaged and interested. But, this situation is not about how dramatic or traumatic I can make it.

It is simply about Joseph making a poor choice based on lies he has been presented as truth. The overall truth of the situation though, is not my argument against his dad, or the wrongs that Joseph believes he has suffered, but is that God's thoughts are not my thoughts, and His ways are not my ways...His are higher, better, and able to accomplish much more than my earthly temperament can accomplish (Isaiah 55: 8-9) . 

I am sad, I am heartbroken, and that is not being dramatic, but simply hurting for my child who is walking straight into the lion's den, and their mouths are wide open to devour him. I wanted so much more for him- he wasn't supposed to make the mistakes that I made, but I have somehow gotten a front row seat to watch him do exactly what I did.  

In two weeks his first year of college is over, and instead of packing up his dorm and preparing for a summer with his college friends, he is packing up his dorm and moving to SC for "greener pastures."  Although I have many thoughts (and most of them are not that nice) about those "greener pastures," the ultimate truth is this, "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands^. Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown; for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever,” Isaiah 55: 10-13.

If you pray, please continue to pray for our family. We believe God, we trust God, but that doesn't necessarily make it easy.