Your Name

I strongly dislike going to Walmart. I don't know why I continually subject myself to such torture, but yesterday was one of those days that I chose to do so. While I was standing in line at the deli counter (somewhat patiently for a change) giving the overworked and underpaid worker my order, I noticed his name tag. His name is Allen, and for some reason I felt compelled to say his name when I thanked him for the chicken, turkey, and ham he handed me. Weird, I thought, that I would feel the need to call someone by name....the feeling proceeded to follow me to the checkout line (where my patience was all but gone). Here a gentleman named Chuck checked out a long line of people ready to begin their vacation intertwined with some gluttons for punishment like myself. I ended my Walmart ordeal with a "thank you, Chuck," and walked out the door still pondering why I needed to call them by name.

There are all sorts of assumptions that can be made- maybe I was having a moment of insanity (very likely), maybe they needed to hear their name to know that someone was paying attention, maybe I needed a reminder of how to be polite and respectful to people that are serving me, maybe it really had no meaning at all...But, there is One who knows your name.

God knows your name. Whether you are the deli clerk, the cashier, or the impatient shopper, He cares about you, loves you. Life can sometimes make us feel isolated and alone, but that is a lie of the enemy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, known even before you formed in your mother's womb. When God calls out to you, He doesn't need a name-tag to identify you, He doesn't wrack His brain trying to remember your name. He knows who you are, what you are going through, and what you need. Listen for Him to call your name today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NHQJWdXfFE

Five Years Ago

Five years ago I was a single mom without any real prospects at finding a relationship that might amount to anything. I was so lonely at times I didn't know what to do. But, in October 2013 God saw fit to answer my prayers, and I was introduced to Scott. Not only did the Lord bring me a wonderful husband, He gave me a fabulous mother-in-law as well.

From the first time I met Betty, she welcomed me into her home, and loved me and the boys like we were her own. It never seemed like we had just met, but like we had always been family. We laughed, we cried, we shopped, we ate, we talked about life, death, and all manner of things in between....and, we especially liked teasing Scott about her newfound crush on Thor when he was introduced in the Avenger movies.

Betty was compassionate, loving, and touched many lives. Everyone who knew her loved her. In April 2016 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Instead of asking "why me" she dug her heels in, and faced this battle head on. She was an inspiration to everyone who talked to her. No matter how bad she felt she walked with a smile, and offered words of encouragement along with statements of faith to those she came in contact with.

In April of this year we thought that we might win this fight. However, in June we were told we would not. Even then Betty kept her smile. On August 8th we moved Betty in with us. I won't say that this was easy for any of us. Betty was fiercely independent, and I am sure that this was the hardest part for her. However, I will say that I would not take back one second that we had with her. The only regret is that we could not get her to move in sooner.

We couldn't go eat or shop anymore, but we could laugh and tease the boys and enjoy the time we had left. On September 21st she traded this world for the next. There is a huge hole in our hearts and an empty space in our house. Betty Lou we miss you like crazy, but only for a little while.

Faith....Patience

I am not a patient person. As a matter of fact, I am a cut-n-dry, here's the problem and the solution so let's fix it kind of person. I don't pray for patience, I know better, because that is a sure fire way to find myself in a situation that requires me to be patient. But, despite my admission of being impatient, and the struggle that I have with that, what does God ask me to do? That's right, be patient....

James 1: 2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

This trial with Joseph is anything but joyful, and I want to do everything but persevere. I want to defend myself, I want to beg and plead with Joseph come back home and go back to school, I want to hate the ones who are manipulating him who look like heroes in his eyes...But, instead God is asking me to have faith. Faith when I don't know where Joseph is or what he's doing, faith when punches are thrown at me from lying mouths that influence my children, faith that no matter what He is in control. Faith to be patient, and watch God work. 

Faith is what we hope for, belief in what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1), faith means that the answer doesn't always come when I want it to, or even the way I want it to. Sometimes exercising faith will make us think that we are losing (which is what I feel right now), faith will help us to keep seeing the truth when we are surrounded by lies. Faith will complete a perfect work in us, and change us into the person God wants us to be. 

His ways are not my ways....

My last post was a little dramatic...hahaha. I try to stay away from the drama, but isn't that what usually draws us into things? Our favorite books, favorite television shows, even our favorite preachers have some element of drama that keeps us engaged and interested. But, this situation is not about how dramatic or traumatic I can make it.

It is simply about Joseph making a poor choice based on lies he has been presented as truth. The overall truth of the situation though, is not my argument against his dad, or the wrongs that Joseph believes he has suffered, but is that God's thoughts are not my thoughts, and His ways are not my ways...His are higher, better, and able to accomplish much more than my earthly temperament can accomplish (Isaiah 55: 8-9) . 

I am sad, I am heartbroken, and that is not being dramatic, but simply hurting for my child who is walking straight into the lion's den, and their mouths are wide open to devour him. I wanted so much more for him- he wasn't supposed to make the mistakes that I made, but I have somehow gotten a front row seat to watch him do exactly what I did.  

In two weeks his first year of college is over, and instead of packing up his dorm and preparing for a summer with his college friends, he is packing up his dorm and moving to SC for "greener pastures."  Although I have many thoughts (and most of them are not that nice) about those "greener pastures," the ultimate truth is this, "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands^. Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown; for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever,” Isaiah 55: 10-13.

If you pray, please continue to pray for our family. We believe God, we trust God, but that doesn't necessarily make it easy. 

Prepared for Battle

If you are reading this, then please say a prayer for our family....actually, say more than one prayer as we are in one of the toughest battles of our lives, a war that has been waged against the success and well being of Joseph.

If you are my friend on Facebook or have read this blog, you already know how proud I am of Joseph for getting accepted and going to school at the University of TN. He hoped so much to be able to go to school here, and God gave him that desire. Joseph wanted to get into their architecture and interior design program, and guess what? God did not let him down.

However, the enemy of our souls waged a war against Joseph. He convinced Joseph through someone that he trusts that he needs to be out from under my "control." That there are "better" things for him in SC where he has freedom to come and go, freedom to make his own decisions...sort of sounds like the serpent in the Garden of Eden, doesn't it?

Scott and me had a long conversation with Joseph's dad yesterday, and if what he says is true, he is on our side. I pray today for Joseph to have ears to hear and eyes to see the truth through the deception that is blinding him. For him to be able to discern what is the good and acceptable word of God from the lies that the enemy if filling his head with. That like Elisha's servant, the Lord will open his eyes to see the army that God has placed around him to deliver him rather than allow him to become captive (2 King 6).

This is a battle where the armor of God needs to be worn proudly and boldly, it is a battle that I don't want to fight, a battle that I didn't see coming. God has given Joseph the desires of his heart, it breaks my heart to see the enemy try to snatch those desires and close the doors God has opened.

Please pray, and pray hard, my friends. This battle is not against the person who is influencing Joseph, it is against the principalities, powers, and darkness of the rulers of this age, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places that have said Joseph belongs to them. But, I say Joseph belongs to Jehovah, he belongs to El Shadday, God Almighty, Who knows the plans He has for Joseph and has set those plans in motion.

Winter Jam 2017

My kids talk me into everything, even when I don't have time to be talked into something. Sunday was no exception because their favorite rap guy, Andy Mineo, was going to be at Winter Jam. So, with them and a friend in tow, Scott and me fought the crowd and joined the thousands at a Christian music concert that at times I thought I might be too old for (LOL).

In addition to Andy Mineo and several other groups we Tenth Avenue North. I do really like this band and know most of their songs, but what blessed me most was Zachary's reaction to one of their songs. They have a song called Torn. Zach liked this song when it first came out, but I have yet to determine why. It is a song about being worn out from the struggles of life, and calls on God to give hope. Anyway, they played this song. During this song Zach stood to his feet with his hand lifted high in worship- it was the sweetest thing that I have ever seen, especially, since he was sitting in the middle of a group of middle school boys and he didn't care that he was the only one standing.

When we were getting in the car after the concert Zach brought up that song, and proceeded to tell me that he cried when they sang it because it moved his heart. I told him how proud I was that he was worshiping. Then I wondered what it is about that song that speaks to him. He's 12, he really hasn't had a trial to endure or experienced just how hard life can be sometimes. Could it be that the Lord is speaking to him now to prepare him for what he may face in the future? Or, is there a hurt in his heart that I don't see, but the Lord know is there?

Either way, and no matter what, I know that the Lord speaks to him, and it is my prayer that he will continue to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit his whole life.

What Are You Afraid Of?

All I keep hearing about the recent election is that people are afraid. But what are they afraid of? Are they afraid  that the liberal agenda cannot dictate the will of the "people" anymore? Because the will of the people voted in an unconventional candidate with a no-holds-barred pointedness in hopes that he will bring the change we have been waiting on for 8 years now. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to start a political debate, or spout my own political jargon to make people angry or isolate friends, but I am saying that perhaps a different perspective is in order. As a (probably somewhat moderate) conservative, these are my thoughts on a few of the political "fears" presented:

1- Should we be more afraid of our daughters (I don't have any of my own, but there are plenty in my family) not having a right to say what happens to their bodies- i.e. have the right to have an abortion if they want one no matter what stage of pregnancy they are in, or of them not being truthfully educated about the fact that an abortion at any term kills an unborn baby, and has serious emotional consequences that she will have to deal with for the rest of her life? Now, I am not naive enough to think that if abortions become illegal that they will stop- they will not. And, once a Pandora's box like abortion has been opened, can we really close it back up? What should happen is policies and procedures be reformed and there be some limitations on when and how they can be performed. Women should be presented with ALL options, and not just abortion when they enter Planned Parenthood establishments or crisis pregnancy centers, the process of abortion and exactly what the procedure entails should be presented to them. The question that puzzles me the most in this debate is, "how can we allow women to abort babies, but prosecute offenders when they attack a woman and kill her unborn baby?" Is it a baby or not? Does "it" have rights or not? Because abortion says that the fetus does not, unless it is killed by someone other than it's mother- just something to think about....

2- Health Care. I am not at all opposed to everyone having access to affordable health care. But the key here is affordable. Why pay $300-$400 per month for insurance coverage that has such a high deductible that you will never meet it, and therefore never reap the benefits of the policy? I realize that there are those with serious medical conditions that benefit from this, but what about those that do not? Most people that I know without insurance have opted to pay the penalty at the end of the year rather than buy a policy. This puts a greater burden on the tax payers, insurance companies, and medical facilities. I am not an expert here, but I have enough friends in insurance, medical professions, and who are opting not to buy policies on the exchange because of the expense to know Obamacare has not worked. Wouldn't it be better to work together to find a solution to this rather than being afraid that something might be taken away from you?

3- The solution to immigration is not to build walls or close borders, but to make sure that the process of legal immigration is followed. If people from other countries want to come here, let them, but make sure that they are following the rules, obtaining the proper paperwork, and working toward citizenship if they want to live here permanently. And, we shouldn't change our values, beliefs, traditions because people from other countries do not agree. Why has the voice of foreigners become louder than the voice of Americans? If you want to live here, live here legally. If you want benefits, a job, the right to vote, obtain it legally. There should be parameters in place that keep illegal immigrants from obtaining government welfare, jobs, and the right to vote. Protect American citizens and those immigrants who have followed the rules to live in this great country.

4- LGBT (and I think they have added a Q in there somewhere)- a touchy subject, I know, and one that will probably not win me friends or the ability to influence people (LOL- but, seriously). I have a lot of questions concerning whether people are born gay, or choose that lifestyle. I am willing to admit that I do not have an answer for that, and cannot tell you that the things that you feel are not real- I hope when I get to heaven the Lord will have a big book with the answers to life's unanswered questions. This is what I do know, I know what the Bible says about homosexuality as well as other "sins." I do not struggle or desire that lifestyle but there are plenty of other things listed under the category of sin that I have had to ask forgiveness for- it is not my place to judge you, but I do not have to agree with you. You might not agree with all of the choices that I make, that's what makes us different, unique, and makes the world less boring. My convictions and beliefs would not allow me to vote for same-sex marriage, but that does not mean that I hate you. Obviously, the government has validated this form of marriage- is there really a reason to undo it, or try to stuff it back in the "closet?" What I would like to see is this: the same rules apply to you that apply to every other American and marriage. In order to have the same benefits that heterosexual couples share, get married. Benefits should not be made available for domestic partners who are not married- what is good for one side, is good for the other. If you are female, use the female restroom. Is it not my right to use a women's restroom without men being present? Don't call me a bigot, a hater, intolerant, or give me any of the other labels the LGBT community enlists because I do not agree with you. I am not those things-

I realize that I have not addressed many things, and of the things that I have addressed, I have not covered every element. I think we, as Americans, should have a concern for our country, but not live in fear. I believe that we can accomplish more together than we can by fighting with each other and calling each other names. The majority of the American people voted for change because they do not want to be governed by the far left agenda. I do not believe the extreme right is the answer either. Somewhere in the middle lies the answers and the change that our country wants and needs. No matter what political party you side with, be open-minded to hear what the other sides have to say, and willing to compromise for the good of the whole rather than the agendas of a few. If you are an evangelical Christian, don't depend on the government to legislate your values and beliefs- that is not their job. Pray, don't judge, pray, stand up for what you believe in with love, pray- and do not be afraid.

And, while I'm on this soap box, our kids need to be taught that in real life not everyone gets a trophy, and things don't always go our way- if I were throwing temper tantrums like some of these protestors my Momma would whip my behind, no matter how old I was!

2 Timothy 1:7 - The Lord has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2017 - Bring on the New Year

So, I was looking over my blog this morning, and saw that I only posted twice in 2016. WOW- I need to make a resolution to blog more in 2017, but I am afraid that I might not keep it :).

2016 went out (for me) without a bang. As a matter-of-fact, I was in bed and sound asleep long before the ball dropped. I hope that that quite rest is how 2017 will be, or at least there will be more of it in 2017 than there was in 2016. This is what we dealt with last year:

We sold our house in a week, moved into a very small apartment and almost killed each other (ask the neighbors we had at the apartment -LOL), built a new house, played soccer, played basketball, drove my mother-in-law to countless doctor appointments and treatments as she battled lung cancer, sent Joseph off to college, played more basketball and soccer, managed to keep our jobs going, and the kids fed, hung out with friends, made family come and visit us (if you know my mom tell her, "yes she is going to TN every 5 minutes"), and I finished my first year as a PhD student.

When I look at that list, I wonder how we ever made it, then I remember that the Lord is faithful. He gives us just what we need for each day. Not what we needed yesterday, not what we will need tomorrow, but exactly the amount of strength, knowledge, and grace that we will need in the moments we face in the present. Every day is a new day, a chance to start over and follow through on what did not get accomplished yesterday.

So, in 2017, the only resolution that I have is to remember what the Lord brought us through (the good and the bad), and look to Him to sustain us through whatever this new year brings.

2 Corinthians 12: 9, "And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Have a blessed New Year- my thoughts and prayers are with you, and hopefully, I will make more than two posts this year!