Why I Love Country Music

Scott strongly dislikes country music. If he had to choose between a root canal and listening to the twangs of a country song, I think he would choose the root canal. But, I love it…I don’t mean the new stuff that sounds more like pop music, either. I want to hear the classics….George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn, and anything from the 80s (wasn’t that a great decade???)- Reba, George Strait, Martina McBride…not to mention the southern gospel roots in some choruses.

I love it because it is part of who I am. I spent most of my childhood and early adult years running away from heritage. I wanted to be anyone but who I was. The older I get now, the more I embrace my history and how it has shaped the person I have become.

My family (on all sides) is a musical family. I don’t think there is anyone on my mom’s side that can’t sing, play an instrument, or both. My (biological) father sings and for a long time my grandparents (his parents) traveled with a southern gospel group. My step-dad owned a music store and night club- he could play any instrument put in his hands, but we never asked him to sing J

When I hear the melodic tones of a country song I remember those times with my family. Granny Murphy’s on Sundays “picking & singing”….going with Granny & Papa Rowland to their friends’ houses where they inevitably  would make us sing solos, or Papa just sitting around playing his guitar. I think about walking into the House of Music and listening to the latest jam session (made up of whatever musician happened to stop by that day)…or going by the club (Night Life) and hearing my momma sing with the band. I could never forget playing “the Contest” with my uncle Clay when he would babysit us (think Name that Tune).

I do like other styles of music, but it is the sound of steel guitars and rich harmonies of country music that reminds me most of my childhood, and stirs up memories too sweet to ignore. If that’s not reason enough to love it, I don’t know what is.

Submissive Obedience

Without submission we cannot be obedient...this is a huge struggle for a control freak like me. I believe in Jesus, I love the Lord and realize that without Him I would be someone that NO ONE would like. But, I am not always as submissive or obedient as I should be when He tells me to do something. Most of the time it is because I am afraid of not knowing the outcome, sometimes it's just because I am lazy or want things my way (did I mention that I am stubborn, too?). No matter what my excuse, though, I know in my heart that the Lord wants what is best for me, He knows where He wants to take me. Right now, He wants to take me on a journey...

A journey to heal the physical and emotional battle I am struggling with right now (you know it's all down hill after 40 - haha), a journey where He can reveal the plan that He has for me in my career, a journey where He can work in the hearts of my children and make them the men He wants them to be. In order to embark on this journey I have to be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I can prove what is the acceptable will of God (Romans 12:2). I will have to be submissive and obedient. Have I mentioned that this is a weakness for me? 

Anytime the Lord wants me to start changing things my fear level goes up...anyone who has been a Christian any amount of time knows that satan will some full force to try and hinder the work God wants to do. Everything that could happen runs through my mind, and I start to dwell in the "what ifs"...have you read the story of Job? 

But, the Lord won't let me go. Even though I wine and complain, I know that in this journey the Lord will answer my questions, give me direction, and show me great and mighty things that I do not know Jeremiah 33:3). While I am still afraid, I know the end will be worth it, and I am sure my poor husband is praying that I learn all about being submissive and obedient :) 

What I Gave up with my BMW

Recently I traded my BMW 328i for a more practical (and less expensive) Ford Escape. People keep asking me how I like my new car, and I respond that I "like it."

It doesn't have heated leather seats, it doesn't have the beautiful interior. I miss that the mirrors automatically adjust when I am backing up. It doesn't have a power seat on the passenger side, and it doesn't have separate heat/air controls for the back seat, or a sunroof. It doesn't drive like a BMW either....power, smoothness, control- BMWs are really fun to drive.

But, it also doesn't have the pride factor. With the BMW there was a certain air around me...like, "look at me, I drive a BMW." Or, a constant nagging wondering what everyone thought, or if my BMW impressed them. I had a constant battle going on inside me about why this car was important to me, and I didn't like the truth when I allowed myself to be honest about it. I don't want to be prideful, but having this car, for me, was a pride issue. It became something that tried to define me rather than a blessing. I have struggled enough with finding who I am outside of Christ. I don't need a car that exalts me. The freedom that I have from these thoughts and feelings is something that I LOVE about my new car.

I am not saying that I will never own another BMW (and my husband still has one). Perhaps the Lord will allow me to later on, but for now I will be happy with my little Escape. It does have more room, a backup camera, and (my favorite) satellite radio where I can listen to 80s/90s Country Music to my hearts content.

Psalm 139:23-24
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Dreary Days

Today is a rainy, dreary day in East TN, and I don't mean just because of the gloomy weather. All day long my heart has been heavy with the knowledge of a tragedy that struck our community. This prompted me to think of all of the other unhappy happenings going on around me...
There is a a child custody case hanging overhead threatening to unravel the stability of a child with the intent not being for the betterment of the child, but to satisfy the selfishness of the non-custodial parent...a close friend who is mourning the loss of a best friend to a terrible disease...another dear friend who desperately wants to be a mom, but finds every pregnancy end in miscarriage...a mother who mourns not only the sudden loss of one child, but the loss of her only two children, and friends (my son included) who mourn the loss of their beloved friends...none of this makes sense, and we ask, "where is God?"

The Bible tells us to, "rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion," Romans 12:15-16. 

In any of the circumstances we can form our own opinions, we can judge, we can be critical, we can say how we would, or it should be handled, but the truth is, that is not what we are supposed to do. We are supposed to lift one another up, show grace and mercy, show love. I cannot imagine what my friend who finds her self childless feels, I cannot imagine the nightmare that this mother, who I only know as the mom of one of my son's friends, is living...if we cannot count on each other for stability and comfort in our most desperate times, then we have failed as a church. If those who are hurting cannot come to us then we learned nothing from the life Jesus exemplified.