Leaving Familiar

Exodus 3:10-12

“Come now, therefore, and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring My people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?’ So He said, ‘I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.’”

How many times do we feel the Lord leading us out of the familiar and sending us into some unknown place that we feel afraid to enter or to a call that we feel inadequate in filling?

Surely Moses was quite content to stay in Midian with his family and tend sheep. It was comfortable, it was familiar, it was routine. It didn't require much thought and certainly did not involve confronting Pharaoh. 

Before we got married Scott and I decided that it made more sense for Zachary to change schools rather than leave the boys at separate schools, or move Eli. I thought that I was OK with this until orientation at our new school. Then the reality that I had left the comfortable, familiar and routine hit me.

While walking through the school among teachers and administrators that I did not know, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of being out of place. The longer I was there, the more I felt like I didn't belong. I missed knowing the teachers and principals. I missed knowing the other parents and students. It was all I could do not to break out in tears right in the middle of meeting Zach’s teacher!

On the way home I couldn't hold the tears any longer, and I just began to cry. Poor Scott thought he had accidentally said something wrong! (He is such a sweetheart). I told him that I was fine, and tried to get a grip! In the midst of all this emotion, I thought, “Isn't this how it is with the Lord? He asks us to leave the familiar in order for Him to take us to a better place?”

Just like with Moses. It wasn't easy for him to go to Pharaoh. It wasn't easy to lead the Children of Israel out of Egypt. But, he did it despite being nervous or feeling inadequate. God had greater plans for Moses and His children. He has greater plans for us! 

I realize that changing schools is not near as big of an ordeal as Moses faced. However, it lends to the same concept of stepping out of our comfort zones. It is not always the easy thing to do, but it always rewards with opportunities that might not otherwise have come to pass. I learn and grow. I become stronger in my faith. I become a better woman, mother, and now, hopefully, wife. I let go of being comfortable for the sake of pursuing all that God has for me.  

I am still a little anxious about the change, but I believe that as with all the other times the Lord as taken me away from the familiar, good things will certainly come. 

Changing Names

Revelation 2:17

New King James Version (NKJV)

 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it.”’

In 1997 I changed my name for a lot of wrong reasons. From as far back as I could remember I wanted my name to be different, I didn't want to be a "Rowland" because I some how associated that name with not measuring up or fitting in. I thought that if I had a different name that I would be a different person. 

One of the main reasons that I got married the first time was so that I could have a different name. The name was supposed to change everything. I would be accepted, I would be taken care of, I would live happily ever after...or so I thought. 

The reality is that it really has nothing to do with your name, but everything to do with how you find your worth and value. If we let Jesus tell us who we are rather than insecurity, hopelessness, and other outside influences then the name that people refer to us by does not matter. We gain confidence, stability, and assurance through Jesus, and aren't just riding the coat tails of whatever our family name supposedly stands for. 

Jesus came to give us identity in Him that says we are good enough, we are loved, and we are valuable. Our worth is established in Him. 

So, in a little less than two weeks I am changing my name again, only this time it's not because I am trying to escape a broken past. I know who I am now, "my name is child of the one true King" (Matthew West Hello My Name Is). Because I know who I am now in Christ, I am confident of changing my name for the man I love. It is not about a name but about moving forward into the blessing that God has so graciously given to me. It's about joining with a person who also knows that he is a "child of the one true King". 

I am so excited about my new name, but even more so because Jesus prepared me for this journey by telling me who I really am. 

What is your name? 

God's Plan

Isaiah 14:24 "The Lord almighty has sworn, 'Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.'"

I was sitting with my dear friend Linda in her new house tonight, talking about her upcoming wedding, and couldn't help but think how different things were for both of us not too long ago.

Just a few short years ago we were both single moms (along with our friend Christy) who spent many nights throwing together dinner with what we each had in our cabinets, carting each others kids around from place to place, and saying to one another, " God has a plan, we just have to be patient. It has to be in His time."

These are not words that you want to hear when you are so lonely that you think you can't take another night with the empty space beside you or you long to have someone that wants to hear about your day, whatever it had been. And, let's face it, your kids really aren't too concerned with the lecture you got from your boss or the thousand things that could and did go wrong that day.

But, I wouldn't trade those days for anything because in them we learned lessons that prepared us for the things that God has given to us now. The blessings and purposes that He had planned. We learned to be better mothers, we learned about what we could have done differently in relationships, we talked each other "off the ledge", we prayed and cried and prayed some more, and sometimes we just sat together not doing a thing. We learned the value of ourselves and the strength that we had. We learned how important it is to have other women in your life that are in the same situations and how we could help each other.

Now, we see God's plan revealed, His purpose that is coming to pass. We are both about to get married,  and Linda and her Scott just bought a beautiful home. Despite some of our choices that got us into bad situations, God did not forget His plan and purpose for us. His desire to give us good things did not go away, but he used the difficulties to grow us and change us...to prepare us for the futures He planned.

And this is just beginning...I can't wait to see the rest of His plan!

Reality Check

I walked up to the front desk a minute ago, just in time to witness an elderly woman standing at the front desk talking with Regina.

This woman was obviously homeless, or at the very least living in poverty that neither me nor my family has experienced. With her body shivering and her nose running she stuttered out the question, "may I please have a cup of coffee?"

There are multiple reasons as to why we should say "no" in situations like these, but how do you do that? I do not know. As I stood and looked at this woman I couldn't imagine what life must be like for her. What circumstances brought her to this place, where will she sleep tonight, has she eaten today?

What a dose of reality to make you realize what you have and should be thankful for. We wander around all the time wishing for more, planning for this or that, and taking for granted all that we have. What if "life" had not been so generous to us?

Father, help us to show compassion to those around us in need. Do not let us be so comfortable that we loose our gratitude or become encompassed with an attitude of entitlement. Let our words become actions rather than random mutterings with no intent. God remind us that we are blessed, and it is our responsibility to reach out "to the least of these".

Matthew 25: 34-46 
"Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:  for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’"
 

My Ring

Now that we have surprised everyone (well, maybe not EVERYONE, but most people), I want to tell you the story behind my ring.

Scott and I knew almost from the beginning that we are supposed to be together. Both of us had been praying and asking God for specific things. I truly feel like God took the list of things that I had been asking for and just went down the list checking them off and saying, "yes, Christie, you can have this now". Scott feels the same way.

When we first started talking about marriage we didn't say too much to other people because we knew that it sounded crazy! Then one day my mom called me up and started talking about "IF Scott and me decided to get married and if we didn't want to do this then ok but we could if we wanted to and just let her know and that if I wanted it I could have the engagement ring that Jimmy had given to her". I was floored. I had not said anything to her about us talking about marriage. I was also surprised that she wanted to give it up. But I told her I would love to have it if and when that time came. Jimmy meant a lot to me. He and I were very close, and I have missed him terribly this last year. Especially, now.

When I told Scott about mom's call he said that he loved that idea because it would be very special to me and therefore very special to him. However, if (and these are his exact words) I wanted a ring big enough to make me puke, I could have that. I opted for mom's diamond, and to make it "ours" we picked out a setting together.

We have had the ring back from the jewelry store for a couple of weeks, but he was intent on "asking me the right way". With a little help from our mutual friends (thanks Debbie and Tonya :)) he finally made it official!

I am so very happy and thankful that the Lord saw fit to bring us together. He really is a great guy! This is the most perfect engagement ring I could have ever imagined....

PS - I love you, Pop, in case you can hear me in heaven...I know you would love Scott, too!