Submissive Obedience

Without submission we cannot be obedient...this is a huge struggle for a control freak like me. I believe in Jesus, I love the Lord and realize that without Him I would be someone that NO ONE would like. But, I am not always as submissive or obedient as I should be when He tells me to do something. Most of the time it is because I am afraid of not knowing the outcome, sometimes it's just because I am lazy or want things my way (did I mention that I am stubborn, too?). No matter what my excuse, though, I know in my heart that the Lord wants what is best for me, He knows where He wants to take me. Right now, He wants to take me on a journey...

A journey to heal the physical and emotional battle I am struggling with right now (you know it's all down hill after 40 - haha), a journey where He can reveal the plan that He has for me in my career, a journey where He can work in the hearts of my children and make them the men He wants them to be. In order to embark on this journey I have to be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I can prove what is the acceptable will of God (Romans 12:2). I will have to be submissive and obedient. Have I mentioned that this is a weakness for me? 

Anytime the Lord wants me to start changing things my fear level goes up...anyone who has been a Christian any amount of time knows that satan will some full force to try and hinder the work God wants to do. Everything that could happen runs through my mind, and I start to dwell in the "what ifs"...have you read the story of Job? 

But, the Lord won't let me go. Even though I wine and complain, I know that in this journey the Lord will answer my questions, give me direction, and show me great and mighty things that I do not know Jeremiah 33:3). While I am still afraid, I know the end will be worth it, and I am sure my poor husband is praying that I learn all about being submissive and obedient :)