Recently I traded my BMW 328i for a more practical (and less expensive) Ford Escape. People keep asking me how I like my new car, and I respond that I "like it."
It doesn't have heated leather seats, it doesn't have the beautiful interior. I miss that the mirrors automatically adjust when I am backing up. It doesn't have a power seat on the passenger side, and it doesn't have separate heat/air controls for the back seat, or a sunroof. It doesn't drive like a BMW either....power, smoothness, control- BMWs are really fun to drive.
But, it also doesn't have the pride factor. With the BMW there was a certain air around me...like, "look at me, I drive a BMW." Or, a constant nagging wondering what everyone thought, or if my BMW impressed them. I had a constant battle going on inside me about why this car was important to me, and I didn't like the truth when I allowed myself to be honest about it. I don't want to be prideful, but having this car, for me, was a pride issue. It became something that tried to define me rather than a blessing. I have struggled enough with finding who I am outside of Christ. I don't need a car that exalts me. The freedom that I have from these thoughts and feelings is something that I LOVE about my new car.
I am not saying that I will never own another BMW (and my husband still has one). Perhaps the Lord will allow me to later on, but for now I will be happy with my little Escape. It does have more room, a backup camera, and (my favorite) satellite radio where I can listen to 80s/90s Country Music to my hearts content.
Psalm 139:23-24
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
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