Psalm 84:11 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless"
I am such a blessed girl, and despite my walk being far from blameless, my God still bestows upon me blessings. He truly does not withhold good things from me. Here's an example of just how much....
My girlfriends and I LOVE PF Chang's! I mean seriously love it. We have GNO there at least every couple of months, and every time I get together with my friends Connie and Becky, that's where we head. This is not lost on our God who loves to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11).
A while ago (as in, I don't remember how long it has really been) Becky, Connie and me headed out for a little food and fun. We ordered our usual Lettuce Wrap appetizer, and to our surprise, the waiter brought an extra order that was "on the house". Definitely a show of His favor with an abundance of something that we love.
The next time I went a few months later was with my GNO girls! Much to our surprise and delight, especially with two pregnant women at our table, several "on the house" items were bestowed upon us. One of which included the very yummy Banana Spring Rolls Dessert. We almost couldn't handle all of God's favor that night :o).
In December our GNO group ventured to PF Chang's again. Now that I think of it, maybe we go there so often because Christy hasn't climbed up on that horse, yet (I know she's reading this so I had to add that). And much to our delight we got more free food! This time there was the small fact that we had called ahead and still had to wait about an hour before we were seated that aided in our extras. But, had our attitudes been bad, or should we have chosen to cop an attitude with the hostess we probably would have missed out on this "favor". But we delighted ourselves in Him and the fact that we were together having a fun night out, and He was true to His word and gave us a desire of our heart (Psalm 37:4).
Tonight was no exception as Connie, Becky and me headed out for what may be out last excursion together for a very long time (Mama Chick is heading to PA soon, I will miss you so much....poor Becky will be stuck with me..LOL). I had a coupon for free Lettuce Wraps which was a good start, but when our entrees arrived, the waiter had brought an "extra" entree for us to have.
Four trips all with free food. I don't believe in coincidence, but I do believe in the divine providence and favor of my God. I know my friends do, too. So many times we get carried away with life and don't pay attention to the favor that God is bestowing on us. It is so easy to take things for granted or to just write them off as something nice happening. My challenge today and to whoever is reading this is to recognize God's favor in your day-to-day life. He truly is able "to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think" (Ephesians 6:20), even when it comes to free food at PF Chang's.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friday, January 06, 2012
Resolutions 2012
I didn't really make any resolutions for 2011, and don't feel particularly inclined to do so for 2012 either. However, I did accomplish a few things that are note worthy and hope to keep this trend moving forward into the new year.
I ran a 5k race in 2011, and lost 25 pounds as a result of running more. I didn't start out with this as my goal, but as I started running more and loosing weight, I not only looked better physically but felt better physically and spiritually. I haven't been running the last few weeks and can definitely tell a difference. Even though I am not trying to loose anymore weight, I want to maintain the weight I have lost. Running will definitely stay on my agenda for the coming year.
Finishing my bachelors degree was also on my "to do list" last year. I am happy to say that I did accomplish this in 2011. My challenge for 2012 will be starting my masters degree in Christian Leadership through Liberty University Online. This degree won't necessarily help advance my career, but I felt that it was the choice God wanted me to make, and look forward to all He is going to teach me through this program.
Another thing on my heart is to spend more quality time with my boys. The reality of how little time I have left with them weighs heavy sometimes causing me to wonder just how much of an impact I am making. Am I teaching them the things they need to learn or just going through the motions of navigating life? It is difficult to manage everything going on, and sometimes I admit that I follow my own agenda more than really thinking about what is best for them.
These three things will not be completed in 2012, and with the exception of my graduate degree, won't be fully accomplished in any year. They are all ongoing growing and learning experiences, thoughts that prompt me to be a better person. Callings of God to become more of who He wants me to be and less of the woman I want to be. As John 3:30 tells me, He must increase and I must decrease.
I believe in God's plan for me and my boys (and for everyone else on the planet, too). Although I don't always understand what He is up to or why things happen the way they do, I know in my heart that His plan is best. I want to pursue Him more than ever in 2012.
Father I pray that we all come to know what is the width, length and height of the love of Christ. A love that we can't fully comprehend, but also a love that fills us with the fullness of You and all You have in store for us. Help us to believe that You, Jesus, are able to not only fulfill the desires of our hearts and help us through even the hardest of circumstances, but are able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could ask for or think of. It is Your power that works in us, and I pray that we will let It work. (Ephesians 3:18-20)
I ran a 5k race in 2011, and lost 25 pounds as a result of running more. I didn't start out with this as my goal, but as I started running more and loosing weight, I not only looked better physically but felt better physically and spiritually. I haven't been running the last few weeks and can definitely tell a difference. Even though I am not trying to loose anymore weight, I want to maintain the weight I have lost. Running will definitely stay on my agenda for the coming year.
Finishing my bachelors degree was also on my "to do list" last year. I am happy to say that I did accomplish this in 2011. My challenge for 2012 will be starting my masters degree in Christian Leadership through Liberty University Online. This degree won't necessarily help advance my career, but I felt that it was the choice God wanted me to make, and look forward to all He is going to teach me through this program.
Another thing on my heart is to spend more quality time with my boys. The reality of how little time I have left with them weighs heavy sometimes causing me to wonder just how much of an impact I am making. Am I teaching them the things they need to learn or just going through the motions of navigating life? It is difficult to manage everything going on, and sometimes I admit that I follow my own agenda more than really thinking about what is best for them.
These three things will not be completed in 2012, and with the exception of my graduate degree, won't be fully accomplished in any year. They are all ongoing growing and learning experiences, thoughts that prompt me to be a better person. Callings of God to become more of who He wants me to be and less of the woman I want to be. As John 3:30 tells me, He must increase and I must decrease.
I believe in God's plan for me and my boys (and for everyone else on the planet, too). Although I don't always understand what He is up to or why things happen the way they do, I know in my heart that His plan is best. I want to pursue Him more than ever in 2012.
Father I pray that we all come to know what is the width, length and height of the love of Christ. A love that we can't fully comprehend, but also a love that fills us with the fullness of You and all You have in store for us. Help us to believe that You, Jesus, are able to not only fulfill the desires of our hearts and help us through even the hardest of circumstances, but are able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could ask for or think of. It is Your power that works in us, and I pray that we will let It work. (Ephesians 3:18-20)
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Tomorrow
Proverbs 27:1 " Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring"
How true this scripture rings for me. I have certainly been reminded of how quickly things can change and how life is certainly uncertain.
Not quite three weeks ago I was getting ready for my college graduation. My friend Debi and me were getting our nails done, her family had already arrived in TN and my aunt and uncle were on their way. The whole day was exciting and made me a little nervous. But what I remember most was the overwhelming feeling of God's love for me and the realization that He had seen the redemption of one of my past mistakes to completion. He reopened doors for me and gave me a second chance at college. This time around I did what I should have done the first time He afforded me the opportunity, my part. I graduated with a 3.89 GPA, and was already accepted into two different graduate level programs. I sent pictures to my mom and celebrated with friends and family that evening.
Another celebration happening that weekend was that Zach was singing the "Happy Birthday, Jesus" solo at our Christmas play at church on Sunday. We were so excited about it. He was even wearing a tux. Sunday morning came, Zach sang and I couldn't have been more proud to be his mommy (there were 850 people at church that morning and he stood in front of all of them in the spotlight- the video is on my Facebook page so check it out if you haven't already)!
But how quickly my heart went from overflowing with the grace of redemption and pride for my baby boy to the emptiness of loosing someone who I loved very much but didn't tell nearly often enough. See, there were always tomorrows. Tomorrow I could show Jimmy my graduation pictures and talk to him about the ceremony and my GPA and all the plans that I had for graduate school. He was (other than my mom, and even sometimes he out did her) my biggest fan. Not once when I talked to him or saw him did he fail to tell me how proud he was of me. He loved for me to sit and talk to him, to drive him to work, to just hear about what was going on in my life. Tomorrow he was going to watch the video of Zach singing the solo and get to see him in his tux. Zach loved his pop, (and not just so he could ride the scooter chair) and his pop loved him. Being the musician that he was, nothing would have made Jimmy prouder than seeing Zach standing on that stage singing. He probably would have cried. We always joked and said that Jimmy would cry at a cigarette pack opening, and he agreed. But those tomorrows didn't come the way they were planned. Instead they came with tears and sadness. With funeral arrangements and a funeral. With first trips to the House of Music without the man that started it all. First nights spent without him. The first time I walked into their house without Pop calling out to me and saying, "Baby, I'm so glad you made it. Are you going to do something fun with your friends while you're here? You need a break. And by the way, you look great and I am proud of you".
I have had a million thoughts and about as many regrets about that weekend. Thinking about how quickly things change and how we really do not know what tomorrow holds. Sometimes we don't even know what the next minute holds.
But I do know this, that there is a tomorrow coming that will only hold the joy that I felt on graduation day and when Zach sang. It will not hold the sorrow that loosing Jimmy brought. Pop is already in that "tomorrow" and I can't wait to get there, too (Revelation 22:20).
"Pop, I'm so glad you made it. I hope that you are doing something fun with the angels. You needed a break. And, by the way, you look great and I am proud of you."
How true this scripture rings for me. I have certainly been reminded of how quickly things can change and how life is certainly uncertain.
Not quite three weeks ago I was getting ready for my college graduation. My friend Debi and me were getting our nails done, her family had already arrived in TN and my aunt and uncle were on their way. The whole day was exciting and made me a little nervous. But what I remember most was the overwhelming feeling of God's love for me and the realization that He had seen the redemption of one of my past mistakes to completion. He reopened doors for me and gave me a second chance at college. This time around I did what I should have done the first time He afforded me the opportunity, my part. I graduated with a 3.89 GPA, and was already accepted into two different graduate level programs. I sent pictures to my mom and celebrated with friends and family that evening.
Another celebration happening that weekend was that Zach was singing the "Happy Birthday, Jesus" solo at our Christmas play at church on Sunday. We were so excited about it. He was even wearing a tux. Sunday morning came, Zach sang and I couldn't have been more proud to be his mommy (there were 850 people at church that morning and he stood in front of all of them in the spotlight- the video is on my Facebook page so check it out if you haven't already)!
But how quickly my heart went from overflowing with the grace of redemption and pride for my baby boy to the emptiness of loosing someone who I loved very much but didn't tell nearly often enough. See, there were always tomorrows. Tomorrow I could show Jimmy my graduation pictures and talk to him about the ceremony and my GPA and all the plans that I had for graduate school. He was (other than my mom, and even sometimes he out did her) my biggest fan. Not once when I talked to him or saw him did he fail to tell me how proud he was of me. He loved for me to sit and talk to him, to drive him to work, to just hear about what was going on in my life. Tomorrow he was going to watch the video of Zach singing the solo and get to see him in his tux. Zach loved his pop, (and not just so he could ride the scooter chair) and his pop loved him. Being the musician that he was, nothing would have made Jimmy prouder than seeing Zach standing on that stage singing. He probably would have cried. We always joked and said that Jimmy would cry at a cigarette pack opening, and he agreed. But those tomorrows didn't come the way they were planned. Instead they came with tears and sadness. With funeral arrangements and a funeral. With first trips to the House of Music without the man that started it all. First nights spent without him. The first time I walked into their house without Pop calling out to me and saying, "Baby, I'm so glad you made it. Are you going to do something fun with your friends while you're here? You need a break. And by the way, you look great and I am proud of you".
I have had a million thoughts and about as many regrets about that weekend. Thinking about how quickly things change and how we really do not know what tomorrow holds. Sometimes we don't even know what the next minute holds.
But I do know this, that there is a tomorrow coming that will only hold the joy that I felt on graduation day and when Zach sang. It will not hold the sorrow that loosing Jimmy brought. Pop is already in that "tomorrow" and I can't wait to get there, too (Revelation 22:20).
"Pop, I'm so glad you made it. I hope that you are doing something fun with the angels. You needed a break. And, by the way, you look great and I am proud of you."
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Shout Out for my Single Mom Friends
This blog post is dedicated to my single mom friends who I love dearly and can't imagine navigating this rocky road of life without. It is in no way an indication that at the root of things we are not happy or in anyway imply that we discount the reality of Jesus working in us and for us. But.....
Life just stinks sometimes. No use beating around the bush to say it. It is hard, we worry, and often times we ask God if He is sure He won't give us more than we can bear. The day-to-day thoughts of money, kids, and how we are going to get everything done consumes us most of the time and tries to make the burden all the harder to carry. There is often a lot more month than money. Our kids see the things that other kids get and wonder why they can't have it all. Not to mention the fact that they are missing the much needed father figure to provide the support and stability that we sometimes cannot. I do not know how to SHOW my boys how to be godly men. I am not a man. I can teach them about God's word and live the way God instructs me to live, but it is not the same as if they had a godly man to lead them. How do we show our girls that their value is greater than anything that this world offers and that they shouldn't settle for the first guy that comes along that says the "right" things but does not have their best interests in his heart? We certainly don't want them to make the mistakes that we (and their dads) have made.
And let's not even talk about the dynamic of dating. Seriously....some days we long for someone that will help ease the burdens of adult life. Someone to talk to about the worst day ever or that will anticipate our need for dinner to already be made and at least a path cleared through the house so that we can walk straight to bed for much needed rest (did I mention that sleep is a rare commodity?). But what we get instead is trying too hard to impress someone who really isn't sure of what he wants or who is looking for the "perfect" woman, and end up making a fool of ourselves. Or believing the lines that we are fed only to realize that, that is all they are, empty words. What about when we do give our hearts to someone...and they give it right back to us? We find ourselves back at square one dealing with the same thoughts and insecurities that we had hoped had been conquered.
Yes, life stinks, sometimes. But there is a constant. The Still Small Voice that wakes us up at (what we think as) the most inopportune times and says "Wake up precious one. I want to tell you something". And we wrestle with waking up to spend time with our God and say, "not now Lord, I am tired". But His message to us won't leave. He keeps prompting us through the Holy Spirit to talk with Him, commune with Him, to let Him be the One that meets our needs and fills us up. His love is perfect, His plan is perfect. In order for us to be the women that He has called us to be we have to give Him our whole heart, and trust Him completely. Otherwise we aren't fully able to love, trust, or overcome the hurts of our past to move forward in what He has for us.
Even though we wrestle and argue before we submit, His message stays the same. If we listen close enough we will hear Him say, "It's going to be OK". Everything that we need was provided when Jesus came to this earth. As Pastor Tom has been teaching, "the end of our between is here".
Life just stinks sometimes. No use beating around the bush to say it. It is hard, we worry, and often times we ask God if He is sure He won't give us more than we can bear. The day-to-day thoughts of money, kids, and how we are going to get everything done consumes us most of the time and tries to make the burden all the harder to carry. There is often a lot more month than money. Our kids see the things that other kids get and wonder why they can't have it all. Not to mention the fact that they are missing the much needed father figure to provide the support and stability that we sometimes cannot. I do not know how to SHOW my boys how to be godly men. I am not a man. I can teach them about God's word and live the way God instructs me to live, but it is not the same as if they had a godly man to lead them. How do we show our girls that their value is greater than anything that this world offers and that they shouldn't settle for the first guy that comes along that says the "right" things but does not have their best interests in his heart? We certainly don't want them to make the mistakes that we (and their dads) have made.
And let's not even talk about the dynamic of dating. Seriously....some days we long for someone that will help ease the burdens of adult life. Someone to talk to about the worst day ever or that will anticipate our need for dinner to already be made and at least a path cleared through the house so that we can walk straight to bed for much needed rest (did I mention that sleep is a rare commodity?). But what we get instead is trying too hard to impress someone who really isn't sure of what he wants or who is looking for the "perfect" woman, and end up making a fool of ourselves. Or believing the lines that we are fed only to realize that, that is all they are, empty words. What about when we do give our hearts to someone...and they give it right back to us? We find ourselves back at square one dealing with the same thoughts and insecurities that we had hoped had been conquered.
Yes, life stinks, sometimes. But there is a constant. The Still Small Voice that wakes us up at (what we think as) the most inopportune times and says "Wake up precious one. I want to tell you something". And we wrestle with waking up to spend time with our God and say, "not now Lord, I am tired". But His message to us won't leave. He keeps prompting us through the Holy Spirit to talk with Him, commune with Him, to let Him be the One that meets our needs and fills us up. His love is perfect, His plan is perfect. In order for us to be the women that He has called us to be we have to give Him our whole heart, and trust Him completely. Otherwise we aren't fully able to love, trust, or overcome the hurts of our past to move forward in what He has for us.
Even though we wrestle and argue before we submit, His message stays the same. If we listen close enough we will hear Him say, "It's going to be OK". Everything that we need was provided when Jesus came to this earth. As Pastor Tom has been teaching, "the end of our between is here".
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
More Than You Can Imagine
To go along with my blog about worrying too much about what people think, I have a follow up to prove my paranoia..haha.
Yesterday my dad commented on a photo and said "I love you more than you can imagine". When I first saw this I thought, "that's a little weird". Immediately I wondered what people would think about a comment like that. I mean, isn't that a term better suited for a significant other or spouse?
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how relevant those words are at this stage of my life. Most of my life I have not imagined that my dad loved me at all. So the words "I love you more than you can imagine" are a very appropriate reminder that God has brought healing and restoration to my relationship with my dad. That He is a God who keeps His word and does the things He says He will do when I am willing to submit to Him and be obedient to Him.
It is also a reminder that if my earthly father can love me that much, how much more does my heavenly Father, who knew me long before my dad, love me?
The answer....more than I can imagine.
Ephesians 3:16-19
"that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God"
Yesterday my dad commented on a photo and said "I love you more than you can imagine". When I first saw this I thought, "that's a little weird". Immediately I wondered what people would think about a comment like that. I mean, isn't that a term better suited for a significant other or spouse?
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how relevant those words are at this stage of my life. Most of my life I have not imagined that my dad loved me at all. So the words "I love you more than you can imagine" are a very appropriate reminder that God has brought healing and restoration to my relationship with my dad. That He is a God who keeps His word and does the things He says He will do when I am willing to submit to Him and be obedient to Him.
It is also a reminder that if my earthly father can love me that much, how much more does my heavenly Father, who knew me long before my dad, love me?
The answer....more than I can imagine.
Ephesians 3:16-19
"that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God"
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I Worry Too Much
A friend of mine told me today, "you worry too much" in response to an explanation that I gave for something that I had said earlier. They are right.
More times that not, I will over analyze things that I have said. Conversations with people and statements that I have made, and then feel the need to explain something that I said or wonder if what I said made sense. This will prompt me to want to explain or make other statements when the reality is that what I said to start with was fine.
I'm not sure why my mind works this way. Maybe it is lingering tidbits of insecurity that sometimes want to rise back up within me. Maybe it's that I want to be very careful how I come across to people because I want to be sensitive to their situations. Maybe it's because I've been in situations where what I said was misinterpreted and distorted into something it was not. Whatever the reason, this type of worry is putting confidence in myself rather than the Creator of my confidence and the reason I even have a voice to start with.
Philippians 3:3 says "for it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh".
I agree with this friend that I do worry too much. But this worry is not adding anything of value to my life or my relationships (Matthew 6:27). It distracts me from the things of God, makes me seem immature (and insecure), and most of the time will diminish the original message.
There are certainly times that I will make mistakes in conversation and will need to explain myself or even apologize. But that is not always the case. My prayer today is for God to give me more wisdom, more discernment, and more of Him to fill in the spaces that this type of worry tries to occupy.
More times that not, I will over analyze things that I have said. Conversations with people and statements that I have made, and then feel the need to explain something that I said or wonder if what I said made sense. This will prompt me to want to explain or make other statements when the reality is that what I said to start with was fine.
I'm not sure why my mind works this way. Maybe it is lingering tidbits of insecurity that sometimes want to rise back up within me. Maybe it's that I want to be very careful how I come across to people because I want to be sensitive to their situations. Maybe it's because I've been in situations where what I said was misinterpreted and distorted into something it was not. Whatever the reason, this type of worry is putting confidence in myself rather than the Creator of my confidence and the reason I even have a voice to start with.
Philippians 3:3 says "for it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh".
I agree with this friend that I do worry too much. But this worry is not adding anything of value to my life or my relationships (Matthew 6:27). It distracts me from the things of God, makes me seem immature (and insecure), and most of the time will diminish the original message.
There are certainly times that I will make mistakes in conversation and will need to explain myself or even apologize. But that is not always the case. My prayer today is for God to give me more wisdom, more discernment, and more of Him to fill in the spaces that this type of worry tries to occupy.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
God is My Defender
In the last few weeks there have been a few people that have spoken lies about me questioning my integrity and making accusations that I do not live a life according to God's word. I found several scriptures about the Lord being my defender but I chose this one to use for this situation.
2 Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence."
The Lord knows the truth about what these people have said about me. He will deliver me from their slander. He knows my heart. While I really wanted to be mad at them, I decided that I wouldn't be upset or launch into a defense but will see it for what it is. An attack of satan. His attempt to distract me from the things that God is calling me to.
Nothing makes satan madder or more determined to create problems than when someone starts fulfilling the call that God has on their life. I am certainly far from perfect and my flesh wants to rise up in anger that is not so righteous sometimes. But, I am definitely in a place where God is working, changing, and leading me into deeper things with Him.
So while I am moving forward and believing that God is my refuge and place of safety, I will also remember that Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). That includes lies spoken against me.
2 Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence."
The Lord knows the truth about what these people have said about me. He will deliver me from their slander. He knows my heart. While I really wanted to be mad at them, I decided that I wouldn't be upset or launch into a defense but will see it for what it is. An attack of satan. His attempt to distract me from the things that God is calling me to.
Nothing makes satan madder or more determined to create problems than when someone starts fulfilling the call that God has on their life. I am certainly far from perfect and my flesh wants to rise up in anger that is not so righteous sometimes. But, I am definitely in a place where God is working, changing, and leading me into deeper things with Him.
So while I am moving forward and believing that God is my refuge and place of safety, I will also remember that Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). That includes lies spoken against me.
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