Tomorrow

Proverbs 27:1 " Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring"

How true this scripture rings for me. I have certainly been reminded of how quickly things can change and how life is certainly uncertain.

Not quite three weeks ago I was getting ready for my college graduation. My friend Debi and me were getting our nails done, her family had already arrived in TN and my aunt and uncle were on their way. The whole day was exciting and made me a little nervous. But what I remember most was the overwhelming feeling of God's love for me and the realization that He had seen the redemption of one of my past mistakes to completion. He reopened doors for me and gave me a second chance at college. This time around I did what I should have done the first time He afforded me the opportunity, my part. I graduated with a 3.89 GPA, and was already accepted into two different graduate level programs. I sent pictures to my mom and celebrated with friends and family that evening.

Another celebration happening that weekend was that Zach was singing the "Happy Birthday, Jesus" solo at our Christmas play at church on Sunday. We were so excited about it. He was even wearing a tux. Sunday morning came, Zach sang and I couldn't have been more proud to be his mommy (there were 850 people at church that morning and he stood in front of all of them in the spotlight- the video is on my Facebook page so check it out if you haven't already)!

But how quickly my heart went from overflowing with the grace of redemption and pride for my baby boy to the emptiness of loosing someone who I loved very much but didn't tell nearly often enough. See, there were always tomorrows. Tomorrow I could show Jimmy my graduation pictures and talk to him about the ceremony and my GPA and all the plans that I had for graduate school. He was (other than my mom, and even sometimes he out did her) my biggest fan. Not once when I talked to him or saw him did he fail to tell me how proud he was of me. He loved for me to sit and talk to him, to drive him to work, to just hear about what was going on in my life. Tomorrow he was going to watch the video of Zach singing the solo and get to see him in his tux. Zach loved his pop, (and not just so he could ride the scooter chair) and his pop loved him. Being the musician that he was, nothing would have made Jimmy prouder than seeing Zach standing on that stage singing. He probably would have cried. We always joked and said that Jimmy would cry at a cigarette pack opening, and he agreed. But those tomorrows didn't come the way they were planned. Instead they came with tears and sadness. With funeral arrangements and a funeral. With first trips to the House of Music without the man that started it all. First nights spent without him. The first time I walked into their house without Pop calling out to me and saying, "Baby, I'm so glad you made it. Are you going to do something fun with your friends while you're here? You need a break. And by the way, you look great and I am proud of you".

I have had a million thoughts and about as many regrets about that weekend. Thinking about how quickly things change and how we really do not know what tomorrow holds. Sometimes we don't even know what the next minute holds.

But I do know this, that there is a tomorrow coming that will only hold the joy that I felt on graduation day and when Zach sang. It will not hold the sorrow that loosing Jimmy brought. Pop is already in that "tomorrow" and I can't wait to get there, too (Revelation 22:20). 

"Pop, I'm so glad you made it. I hope that you are doing something fun with the angels. You needed a break. And, by the way, you look great and I am proud of you."