Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"
My uncle's death was untimely by our time, and was certainly a shock. One that we would rather not repeat with any other family members any time soon. But as I was with my family last weekend, and even in the few days since, I have seen God at work. Not only comforting my family, but working some things out for good.
I have not had a very good relationship with my dad's side of the family (except for my Granny and Papa). I just didn't want the lifestyle that they seemed to embrace, and I had a lot of animosity toward my dad because he wasn't around for me when I was a little girl. I carried these feelings well into adulthood, and thought that I was fine.
Well, the Lord has a way of messing you up, and letting you know that you aren't OK! A couple of years ago I had a prophetic word spoken over me by two different people. Now for those of you who may be skeptical of this sort of thing, I did not know these two men, never met them in my life, but had been praying diligently for the Lord to give me a word of confirmation on some things going on in my life. They not only spoke about those things, but also spoke about a restored relationship with my father that had been broken since I was a little girl. I did a few things that I felt like the Lord was calling me to do at that time and left it at that. No real relationship with my dad was established, but we were more on "speaking terms" than we had been in years. And, I started calling him "dad" again instead of "John".
Nothing else really changed but this last weekend I saw my dad like I have not seen him before. I almost can't find the words to describe the change that I saw. My uncle's death really humbled him.
Isn't it just like the Lord to give us things that we have longed for? My dad told me that I was pretty. I don't know if I have ever heard him tell me that. But don't all daughters want to hear that from their daddies? I went for two motorcycle rides with him. Not that riding motorcycles is my thing, but because he had rode me on his bike when I was little. My uncle had rode me on his motorcycle, too. I told my dad that I loved him and I mean it. I'm not really sure that my heart is completely healed, but I see the true beginnings of restoration.
My dad called me this morning to tell me to be careful and that he loves me. How unusual......I'm not sure I know what to do with this. Except to realize that God works all things together for good.
One last thing, my dad called my mom. They have been divorced since I was 11. They have not been on very good speaking terms. But he apologized to her for all that he had done to her and our family. She apologized, too. Could this be the release of bitterness held by both of them? I in no way mean that they will reconcile, they are both remarried to great people, just that maybe they both will have a greater peace now.
Did my uncle have to die for these things to happen? No. But God has taken this tragedy that satan meant for harm and changed my dad. He is bringing an end to a cycle of un-forgiveness and bitterness, and whispered a few sweet words to this little girl's heart.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
There is a Season, a Time
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die..."
Today was my uncle Randy's time to die. So many things run through my mind when I think about this and the sadness that my family faces now and until Jesus calls the rest of us home.
The first is that I am not sure that he was saved. It is my sincere hope that at some point either before this accident, or sometime during the accident he cried out to Jesus to forgive him, and found himself in heaven. My uncle lived a hard life. Mostly scarred by alcohol and drugs. Maybe a product of the environment that he grew up in, but mostly because of the choices that he made. My heart hurts to think that he may not have been ready to meet his Maker.
Second, my poor Granny. She has buried one of her babies (when he was a baby), her husband of nearly 50 years, most of her friends, and now her youngest son. And her oldest son is in prison. I wonder how much she can take. She has been through so much and still, life is hard. Her life has been hard, and not just from the loss of close family and friends. Sometimes it seems she drew the short end of the stick.
Third, I haven't been really close to my uncle in years. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't tell you the last time that I talked to him. But when I was young, he was my favorite. He would ride with me on the bicycle. We had a not so pleasant accident one time that landed me at the hospital scrapped and bruised. He took me for rides on his motorcycle. He took me to meet Santa at his work. That did not go so well either, as I was not too inclined to visit with Santa. I have a not so pretty picture of me crying on Santa's lap with my uncle Randy sitting beside me to calm me down.
We have been through many seasons. I know that not one of them was a surprise to God. He has known all of these things would happen, He knows what else will happen. I believe He will guide us through the seasons to follow......from the time of weeping and mourning to the time of laughter and dancing....and pray that He sends an extra portion of His peace for this really difficult time.
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die..."
Today was my uncle Randy's time to die. So many things run through my mind when I think about this and the sadness that my family faces now and until Jesus calls the rest of us home.
The first is that I am not sure that he was saved. It is my sincere hope that at some point either before this accident, or sometime during the accident he cried out to Jesus to forgive him, and found himself in heaven. My uncle lived a hard life. Mostly scarred by alcohol and drugs. Maybe a product of the environment that he grew up in, but mostly because of the choices that he made. My heart hurts to think that he may not have been ready to meet his Maker.
Second, my poor Granny. She has buried one of her babies (when he was a baby), her husband of nearly 50 years, most of her friends, and now her youngest son. And her oldest son is in prison. I wonder how much she can take. She has been through so much and still, life is hard. Her life has been hard, and not just from the loss of close family and friends. Sometimes it seems she drew the short end of the stick.
Third, I haven't been really close to my uncle in years. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't tell you the last time that I talked to him. But when I was young, he was my favorite. He would ride with me on the bicycle. We had a not so pleasant accident one time that landed me at the hospital scrapped and bruised. He took me for rides on his motorcycle. He took me to meet Santa at his work. That did not go so well either, as I was not too inclined to visit with Santa. I have a not so pretty picture of me crying on Santa's lap with my uncle Randy sitting beside me to calm me down.
We have been through many seasons. I know that not one of them was a surprise to God. He has known all of these things would happen, He knows what else will happen. I believe He will guide us through the seasons to follow......from the time of weeping and mourning to the time of laughter and dancing....and pray that He sends an extra portion of His peace for this really difficult time.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Intentional
When Hezekiah became king after Ahaz, he immediately started restoring the kingdom to a relationship with the Lord. I love what he says in 2 Chronicles 29:10 (NIV) "Now I intend to make a covenant with the LORD, the God of Israel, so that his fierce anger will turn away from us".
Now I'm all about turning away the anger of the Lord (or trying not to make Him mad to start with), but what stands out is that Hezekiah was intentional. He was making it a point to turn Israel back to God. The New King James version uses the words "it is in my heart to make covenant with the Lord".
This really started me thinking about how intentional my walk with God is. How much of what God wants is in my heart? I get so caught up in the everyday things and happenings (distractions) of life that I loose my focus on what God may be trying to show me or the things that I need to change or the kind of example I am being. I stop being intentional in my walk with God, and operate more in the flesh of Christie than the calling of God.
Intentional means deliberate. Am I deliberate in making choices that honor God? Am I deliberate in my obedience to Christ? Or, do I just go through the motions of following the dos and don'ts of the Bible. Do I have just enough Jesus to get me to Heaven, or do I intentionally seek Him and His will for me and my family?
I hope that much more often than not I am intentional in my relationship with my Abba Father, but I know that I have fallen short. My prayer now if for Jesus to not let me forget the words of Hezekiah, for me to repeat those words as if I had penned them.....
I intend to make a covenant with the Lord my God, to let it be in my heart to serve Him and give Him reign over my household. To tear down the things that I have let come between Him and me, and move forward in the blessings that His word promises. Jesus help me to be intentional.
Now I'm all about turning away the anger of the Lord (or trying not to make Him mad to start with), but what stands out is that Hezekiah was intentional. He was making it a point to turn Israel back to God. The New King James version uses the words "it is in my heart to make covenant with the Lord".
This really started me thinking about how intentional my walk with God is. How much of what God wants is in my heart? I get so caught up in the everyday things and happenings (distractions) of life that I loose my focus on what God may be trying to show me or the things that I need to change or the kind of example I am being. I stop being intentional in my walk with God, and operate more in the flesh of Christie than the calling of God.
Intentional means deliberate. Am I deliberate in making choices that honor God? Am I deliberate in my obedience to Christ? Or, do I just go through the motions of following the dos and don'ts of the Bible. Do I have just enough Jesus to get me to Heaven, or do I intentionally seek Him and His will for me and my family?
I hope that much more often than not I am intentional in my relationship with my Abba Father, but I know that I have fallen short. My prayer now if for Jesus to not let me forget the words of Hezekiah, for me to repeat those words as if I had penned them.....
I intend to make a covenant with the Lord my God, to let it be in my heart to serve Him and give Him reign over my household. To tear down the things that I have let come between Him and me, and move forward in the blessings that His word promises. Jesus help me to be intentional.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Influencer
I'm not sure when I first started praying this prayer with my boys, but "God let us be influencers rather than the influenced" has become part of our daily prayers. Matthew 5:14-16 tells us that we are to be a light to this world, "a city on a hill that cannot be hidden", and for us to let that light shine before others rather than trying to hide it so that when people see this light they will give glory to God. I sincerely hope that I do this in my home, church and community. But, sometimes I wonder if I really am making an impact, and just how much of an impact that I am making. I wonder if I am being an influencer.
Well, in only the way that God can work, He gave me a confirmation from an unlikely source that affirmed that I am some where on the right track with this train called life.
I am at a conference for work. Before this conference we had to take an assessment test to determine what some of our strengths are. Since I have taken 5 or 6 of these over the years, and have learned a lot through experience, I pretty much know (or thought I knew) how they will come out. But for this particular one, my number one strength/personality trait was, you guessed it, INFLUENCER.
Isn't that so sweet of God to send confirmation like that? I mean, out of all the things that could have come up on this test, and of all the names that the people who developed the test could have called this strength, it was influencer.
Thank You Father for confirmation that I am being an "influencer". Let me not take that lightly, and strive daily to let my light shine brighter for You than the day before.
Well, in only the way that God can work, He gave me a confirmation from an unlikely source that affirmed that I am some where on the right track with this train called life.
I am at a conference for work. Before this conference we had to take an assessment test to determine what some of our strengths are. Since I have taken 5 or 6 of these over the years, and have learned a lot through experience, I pretty much know (or thought I knew) how they will come out. But for this particular one, my number one strength/personality trait was, you guessed it, INFLUENCER.
Isn't that so sweet of God to send confirmation like that? I mean, out of all the things that could have come up on this test, and of all the names that the people who developed the test could have called this strength, it was influencer.
Thank You Father for confirmation that I am being an "influencer". Let me not take that lightly, and strive daily to let my light shine brighter for You than the day before.
Happy Birthday Joseph!
Today is Joseph's birthday, he is 14! He will probably never read this but I just have to brag on him a little.
I can't believe how time has flown by. Before long we will be filling out college applications and I will be driving him to a new adventure. It almost makes me cry now just thinking about it.
I am VERY proud of my first born. It always amazes me the things that people tell me about him. I so often feel like I am failing as a mother, but when I hear about things he is doing and the example that he sets, I realize that with a whole lot of God's help. something is going right.
He is not a crowd follower for sure, and is more apt to be an example rather than conform. He is unique and really doesn't care what anyone thinks about that. He has a lot of friends, but doesn't let that go to his head. I have seen him hang out with kids of all different backgrounds and not leave anyone out. I hope this is true for when I'm not around, I believe it is.
He won student of the month at school recently, three teachers nominated him. He is in Beta club. His teachers always tell me what a good sport he is. One teacher even told me about their friendly little jokes they play on each other. A few weeks ago the Assistant Principal was bragging about him saying that a couple of special needs kids wanted to come into the lunch room but were afraid. Joseph and a friend of his went and got the two kids, helped them get their lunch and sat with them during lunch so they wouldn't be afraid. I could almost cry at that, too.
He helps with the nursery and pre-k kids at church. They adore him! (too bad I can't get him and Zach to get along like that....brothers!!!) He loves them, too!
Because of Beta he has to do community service. A few of the things he has done are: collecting and donating toys for a local clinic, helping a friend of ours clean up trash around their business, helping with a special needs camp at a church in our community, and picking up trash along the Gatlinburg bypass.
I see leadership in him and a heart for young children. I am excited to see how these two things develop in his life and where God takes him. He is such a good kid (if I do say so myself). People tell me that all the time. I love him very much and am very proud to be his mom!
I can't believe how time has flown by. Before long we will be filling out college applications and I will be driving him to a new adventure. It almost makes me cry now just thinking about it.
I am VERY proud of my first born. It always amazes me the things that people tell me about him. I so often feel like I am failing as a mother, but when I hear about things he is doing and the example that he sets, I realize that with a whole lot of God's help. something is going right.
He is not a crowd follower for sure, and is more apt to be an example rather than conform. He is unique and really doesn't care what anyone thinks about that. He has a lot of friends, but doesn't let that go to his head. I have seen him hang out with kids of all different backgrounds and not leave anyone out. I hope this is true for when I'm not around, I believe it is.
He won student of the month at school recently, three teachers nominated him. He is in Beta club. His teachers always tell me what a good sport he is. One teacher even told me about their friendly little jokes they play on each other. A few weeks ago the Assistant Principal was bragging about him saying that a couple of special needs kids wanted to come into the lunch room but were afraid. Joseph and a friend of his went and got the two kids, helped them get their lunch and sat with them during lunch so they wouldn't be afraid. I could almost cry at that, too.
He helps with the nursery and pre-k kids at church. They adore him! (too bad I can't get him and Zach to get along like that....brothers!!!) He loves them, too!
Because of Beta he has to do community service. A few of the things he has done are: collecting and donating toys for a local clinic, helping a friend of ours clean up trash around their business, helping with a special needs camp at a church in our community, and picking up trash along the Gatlinburg bypass.
I see leadership in him and a heart for young children. I am excited to see how these two things develop in his life and where God takes him. He is such a good kid (if I do say so myself). People tell me that all the time. I love him very much and am very proud to be his mom!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Radical Obedience
I have been reading another book by Lysa Terkeurt called What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. This book is all about being radically obedient to Christ and the things that He asks us to do in our daily lives. Essentially, giving our whole lives to Him, asking Him how we should handle every decision, situation, and choice that we have to make. And then following through with the answer that He gives us whether it was what we had planned or not.
I would like to say that I read this book, did the Bible study and became radically obedient the minute I was finished. However, I am about 3/4 through the book, have not done the Bible study part of it yet, and failed at a simple little thing that I felt God calling me to do tonight. And, what's worse is that I had asked God for the very thing that I would be disobedient about.
Now before anyone thinks that I am going to live with this and let it affect how I move forward, I know that there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that Jesus forgives me for this mishap and will give me many more opportunities to be radically obedient for Him.
The song that I blogged about in an earlier post truly speaks to me and is my life song for this moment in my life. Waiting here for God is how I would characterize the place I am in because I need His direction on choices that I need to make, I want Him to move and change some of the circumstances of my life right now, and I absolutely want Him to move in my children's lives. But He keeps telling me to wait. I keep asking what I'm waiting for and He keeps telling me "Me". So I am waiting.....
While I have been waiting (and listening to this song over and over), I have been asking God for intimate times with Him. Deeper worship and clarity of what He is telling me. He is answering that prayer. Some days it is all I can do to not walk around with my hands lifted in the air in praise to Him, or just stay flat on my face before Him, asking for more of Him in my life.
Today was no exception. I really wanted to have a deeper worship experience with Him in our corporate worship at church. Don't get me wrong, I kneel and raise my hands and pray to Him when I'm alone. I think those moments are very important. But I also believe that there is something to be said for believers gathering together to give praise to our God. Today I wanted to sit at the alter, at Jesus' feet and worship Him.
So, I prayed, "Jesus, let tonight's service be about worship. Let us sing that song that is resonating within my heart and let me sit at the alter in quiet worship of you". And guess what, He answered me. Only instead of taking this opportunity to do what I had longed to do, I stood in front of my seat and refused the opportunity to sit at His feet. I can't really give you a good reason why. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was wondering what others would think, maybe it was a lot of things. But I know one thing, I missed this opportunity for God to whisper His love for me into my heart. I do not believe that this was the last opportunity that I will have, but it is also one that I can't get back.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss too many of those moments. I want to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus feet and soak up His love for me rather than being like Martha, being so busy or distracted that I can't focus on what is in front of me....Jesus, desiring a relationship with me, Jesus wanting to give me the good gifts that our Father has promised us, Jesus with arms open wide determined to let me know that He loves me.
Father thank you for missed opportunities that teach me lessons and ultimately will draw me closer to You as You teach me about being radically obedient. Not that I want to walk in rebellion Lord but that when I do mess up, when I do fail, You will still work the situation out for good because I am called according to Your purposes, and Your will, will be carried out in my life. Help me God to be radically obedient to You!
I would like to say that I read this book, did the Bible study and became radically obedient the minute I was finished. However, I am about 3/4 through the book, have not done the Bible study part of it yet, and failed at a simple little thing that I felt God calling me to do tonight. And, what's worse is that I had asked God for the very thing that I would be disobedient about.
Now before anyone thinks that I am going to live with this and let it affect how I move forward, I know that there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that Jesus forgives me for this mishap and will give me many more opportunities to be radically obedient for Him.
The song that I blogged about in an earlier post truly speaks to me and is my life song for this moment in my life. Waiting here for God is how I would characterize the place I am in because I need His direction on choices that I need to make, I want Him to move and change some of the circumstances of my life right now, and I absolutely want Him to move in my children's lives. But He keeps telling me to wait. I keep asking what I'm waiting for and He keeps telling me "Me". So I am waiting.....
While I have been waiting (and listening to this song over and over), I have been asking God for intimate times with Him. Deeper worship and clarity of what He is telling me. He is answering that prayer. Some days it is all I can do to not walk around with my hands lifted in the air in praise to Him, or just stay flat on my face before Him, asking for more of Him in my life.
Today was no exception. I really wanted to have a deeper worship experience with Him in our corporate worship at church. Don't get me wrong, I kneel and raise my hands and pray to Him when I'm alone. I think those moments are very important. But I also believe that there is something to be said for believers gathering together to give praise to our God. Today I wanted to sit at the alter, at Jesus' feet and worship Him.
So, I prayed, "Jesus, let tonight's service be about worship. Let us sing that song that is resonating within my heart and let me sit at the alter in quiet worship of you". And guess what, He answered me. Only instead of taking this opportunity to do what I had longed to do, I stood in front of my seat and refused the opportunity to sit at His feet. I can't really give you a good reason why. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was wondering what others would think, maybe it was a lot of things. But I know one thing, I missed this opportunity for God to whisper His love for me into my heart. I do not believe that this was the last opportunity that I will have, but it is also one that I can't get back.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss too many of those moments. I want to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus feet and soak up His love for me rather than being like Martha, being so busy or distracted that I can't focus on what is in front of me....Jesus, desiring a relationship with me, Jesus wanting to give me the good gifts that our Father has promised us, Jesus with arms open wide determined to let me know that He loves me.
Father thank you for missed opportunities that teach me lessons and ultimately will draw me closer to You as You teach me about being radically obedient. Not that I want to walk in rebellion Lord but that when I do mess up, when I do fail, You will still work the situation out for good because I am called according to Your purposes, and Your will, will be carried out in my life. Help me God to be radically obedient to You!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Without Water
Well, we survived yesterday without water. I bought 5 gallons of water plus one case (equal to about 3.16 gallons) and already had a half case of water at home. The total was around 9.75 gallons of water and we used it all! Talk about a lesson in how much water we use in a day....
I'll spare you the details of this little adventure, but think Little House on the Prairie and pouring water into pots to boil and tubs and sinks! And, I do not recommend washing your hair with bottles of water....it's cold and difficult to rinse (LOL), I skipped conditioner!
As I was thinking about this today, I thought isn't it good to know that we have another source of water? One that won't ever run out, spring a leak, or be depleted? One that we don't have to buy or earn or search for...we just have to be willing to drink, take Him in and let Him fill us with His fountain of living water. So even though things on this earth may cause us inconvenience, Jesus never fails to give us as much Water (His presence in our lives) as we will drink.
Father thank You for Your Son and that He provides a well for us that will never run dry. Fill up our thirsty souls with the power of Your word and Your presence in our lives. Let us be satisfied with You!
I'll spare you the details of this little adventure, but think Little House on the Prairie and pouring water into pots to boil and tubs and sinks! And, I do not recommend washing your hair with bottles of water....it's cold and difficult to rinse (LOL), I skipped conditioner!
As I was thinking about this today, I thought isn't it good to know that we have another source of water? One that won't ever run out, spring a leak, or be depleted? One that we don't have to buy or earn or search for...we just have to be willing to drink, take Him in and let Him fill us with His fountain of living water. So even though things on this earth may cause us inconvenience, Jesus never fails to give us as much Water (His presence in our lives) as we will drink.
Father thank You for Your Son and that He provides a well for us that will never run dry. Fill up our thirsty souls with the power of Your word and Your presence in our lives. Let us be satisfied with You!
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