Last night and this morning I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything that has been happening the last few weeks. It also doesn't help that I am a woman and we are overly emotional sometimes, or the fact that our days have been filled with non-stop running from one event to another.....some days I feel like I have driven enough to have gone to SC and back!
My uncle Randy died unexpectedly, my stepmom's sister died (she had cancer), our dog was missing and we found him dead, one of the goldfish died (I admit the goldfish is probably not the best example, it's just that it is one more death), and Monday my best friend called to say that her dad who has Alzheimer's was not expected to live much longer (he died today).....
So much death and tragedy all in one time frame is just overwhelming. Whether expected or unexpected, death is never easy. Running from sun up to sun down certainly takes its toll, and we all know how crazy hormones can make us (men included...I don't know why y'all think you are exempt!).
This morning I was sitting and pondering things that have happened, all that was going on and the feelings of insecurity rising up because of a situation that I don't have complete clarity on and just started crying. Life is just overwhelming sometimes!
I opened my Bible to look for a scripture that might help me quiet the insecurity that was trying to make matters worse, and looked over to the page before the passage I wanted, and this is what it said....
"And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work" 2 Corinthians 9:8
Immediately I felt peace, and thanked God that even in the midst of this chaos and emotional breakdown and death He reminded me that His grace is enough. He will give me the grace to handle these circumstances and anything else that life might decide to send my way. He will be sufficient in all areas of my life (even crazy hormonal areas) and will equip me for the good work that He has planned for me.
I trust You, Jesus, and declare today that Your grace, is indeed, enough!
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Monday, November 07, 2011
Good-Bye Woody
Last Tuesday Woody went off on one of his usual trysts, but never made it back home to us alive. We aren't really sure what happened but we think that he got hit by a car. This seems like the most mundane way for him to die considering all that we have been through with him.
Woody was a big baby of a dog....we would have surely been in trouble had we gotten him to be a watch dog....one bark and then he would have been the foe's best friend. He was so friendly and easy going. He got car sick almost every time we took him anywhere, so, he usually only got to go to the vet and back. Shortly after we got him (when he was about 6 wks old) we found out that he had Parvo. The vet said that he would die but we declared that he was going to live (in Jesus' name) and he did. Then we wanted to kill him because he ate EVERYTHING in the house.....thankfully he got over that stage and became the loveable mutt that just plopped down on the floor wherever we were at and watched us. We loved him and he loved us. He will be greatly missed.
I am very thankful that we found him. Both when he was a puppy and now that he has gone on to doggy heaven (I know, maybe not theologically sound to some people, but I choose to believe he will be in heaven when we get there). Our lives held little extra fun, a whole lot more love, and a bundle more chaos; and, I'm glad to know that (since he for whatever reason died) he is buried in the back yard rather than alone in a place where we would have never found him.
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"
Woody was a big baby of a dog....we would have surely been in trouble had we gotten him to be a watch dog....one bark and then he would have been the foe's best friend. He was so friendly and easy going. He got car sick almost every time we took him anywhere, so, he usually only got to go to the vet and back. Shortly after we got him (when he was about 6 wks old) we found out that he had Parvo. The vet said that he would die but we declared that he was going to live (in Jesus' name) and he did. Then we wanted to kill him because he ate EVERYTHING in the house.....thankfully he got over that stage and became the loveable mutt that just plopped down on the floor wherever we were at and watched us. We loved him and he loved us. He will be greatly missed.
I am very thankful that we found him. Both when he was a puppy and now that he has gone on to doggy heaven (I know, maybe not theologically sound to some people, but I choose to believe he will be in heaven when we get there). Our lives held little extra fun, a whole lot more love, and a bundle more chaos; and, I'm glad to know that (since he for whatever reason died) he is buried in the back yard rather than alone in a place where we would have never found him.
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Attitude Confessions Continued
2 Peter 1:5-7
"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to your goodness, knowledge; and to your knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."
I felt so bad after the not-so-good start to our week. I felt myself caught up in the wrong attitude that "we just can't get it right, especially me". My example to the boys is the most important one they see. They act the way that I act, they talk the way that I talk. Quite often, I am ashamed to hear some of the things that they say and see ways that they act because I know that it came straight from me.
On Wednesday I pulled out a book to read, hoping that it would provide some word to calm this war going on within me about what a bad example I had been. The scripture above was in chapter one. When I read it, I felt peace that I hadn't felt all week.
See, God doesn't expect me to be the perfect example all the time. He expects me to keep trying and "add" to the things that He has placed in me. He gives me goodness, knowledge, self-control (which sometimes seems like a very small portion), perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. But how much I add to these is up to me. When I mess up, these things aren't taken away, I'm just not adding much to them.
Lesson learned for me this week....I will not feel condemned when I fall short with my attitude and actions, but will remember the things that God has given me to handle the situation, and move forward adding to them rather than taking away.
"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to your goodness, knowledge; and to your knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."
I felt so bad after the not-so-good start to our week. I felt myself caught up in the wrong attitude that "we just can't get it right, especially me". My example to the boys is the most important one they see. They act the way that I act, they talk the way that I talk. Quite often, I am ashamed to hear some of the things that they say and see ways that they act because I know that it came straight from me.
On Wednesday I pulled out a book to read, hoping that it would provide some word to calm this war going on within me about what a bad example I had been. The scripture above was in chapter one. When I read it, I felt peace that I hadn't felt all week.
See, God doesn't expect me to be the perfect example all the time. He expects me to keep trying and "add" to the things that He has placed in me. He gives me goodness, knowledge, self-control (which sometimes seems like a very small portion), perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. But how much I add to these is up to me. When I mess up, these things aren't taken away, I'm just not adding much to them.
Lesson learned for me this week....I will not feel condemned when I fall short with my attitude and actions, but will remember the things that God has given me to handle the situation, and move forward adding to them rather than taking away.
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Attitude Confessions
Galatians 5:19-22
"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: ... strife, ...., fits of anger, ..., dissensions, divisions, ...and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law"
Let me just go ahead and say that there has not been much practice of the fruits of the Spirit around my house this week! Over scheduled momma and kids have not made for very good company....it seems that the least little things have set one or all of us over the edge, and it only takes one of us to get a bad attitude and the other two soon follow! Strife, fits of anger, dissensions and divisions have shown up too many times the last few days!
Maybe I should have been better prepared for this week...a friend asked me how they could pray for me this week. My answer was for them to pray that the boys and me would have good attitudes with each other and about the things that we needed to do this week. Sure fire way to be tested in this area.
But I INTEND to keep my covenant with the Lord. We will keep working on our attitudes and declare that these things have no place in our lives. Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken"
"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: ... strife, ...., fits of anger, ..., dissensions, divisions, ...and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law"
Let me just go ahead and say that there has not been much practice of the fruits of the Spirit around my house this week! Over scheduled momma and kids have not made for very good company....it seems that the least little things have set one or all of us over the edge, and it only takes one of us to get a bad attitude and the other two soon follow! Strife, fits of anger, dissensions and divisions have shown up too many times the last few days!
Maybe I should have been better prepared for this week...a friend asked me how they could pray for me this week. My answer was for them to pray that the boys and me would have good attitudes with each other and about the things that we needed to do this week. Sure fire way to be tested in this area.
But I INTEND to keep my covenant with the Lord. We will keep working on our attitudes and declare that these things have no place in our lives. Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken"
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Working It All Out For Good
Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"
My uncle's death was untimely by our time, and was certainly a shock. One that we would rather not repeat with any other family members any time soon. But as I was with my family last weekend, and even in the few days since, I have seen God at work. Not only comforting my family, but working some things out for good.
I have not had a very good relationship with my dad's side of the family (except for my Granny and Papa). I just didn't want the lifestyle that they seemed to embrace, and I had a lot of animosity toward my dad because he wasn't around for me when I was a little girl. I carried these feelings well into adulthood, and thought that I was fine.
Well, the Lord has a way of messing you up, and letting you know that you aren't OK! A couple of years ago I had a prophetic word spoken over me by two different people. Now for those of you who may be skeptical of this sort of thing, I did not know these two men, never met them in my life, but had been praying diligently for the Lord to give me a word of confirmation on some things going on in my life. They not only spoke about those things, but also spoke about a restored relationship with my father that had been broken since I was a little girl. I did a few things that I felt like the Lord was calling me to do at that time and left it at that. No real relationship with my dad was established, but we were more on "speaking terms" than we had been in years. And, I started calling him "dad" again instead of "John".
Nothing else really changed but this last weekend I saw my dad like I have not seen him before. I almost can't find the words to describe the change that I saw. My uncle's death really humbled him.
Isn't it just like the Lord to give us things that we have longed for? My dad told me that I was pretty. I don't know if I have ever heard him tell me that. But don't all daughters want to hear that from their daddies? I went for two motorcycle rides with him. Not that riding motorcycles is my thing, but because he had rode me on his bike when I was little. My uncle had rode me on his motorcycle, too. I told my dad that I loved him and I mean it. I'm not really sure that my heart is completely healed, but I see the true beginnings of restoration.
My dad called me this morning to tell me to be careful and that he loves me. How unusual......I'm not sure I know what to do with this. Except to realize that God works all things together for good.
One last thing, my dad called my mom. They have been divorced since I was 11. They have not been on very good speaking terms. But he apologized to her for all that he had done to her and our family. She apologized, too. Could this be the release of bitterness held by both of them? I in no way mean that they will reconcile, they are both remarried to great people, just that maybe they both will have a greater peace now.
Did my uncle have to die for these things to happen? No. But God has taken this tragedy that satan meant for harm and changed my dad. He is bringing an end to a cycle of un-forgiveness and bitterness, and whispered a few sweet words to this little girl's heart.
My uncle's death was untimely by our time, and was certainly a shock. One that we would rather not repeat with any other family members any time soon. But as I was with my family last weekend, and even in the few days since, I have seen God at work. Not only comforting my family, but working some things out for good.
I have not had a very good relationship with my dad's side of the family (except for my Granny and Papa). I just didn't want the lifestyle that they seemed to embrace, and I had a lot of animosity toward my dad because he wasn't around for me when I was a little girl. I carried these feelings well into adulthood, and thought that I was fine.
Well, the Lord has a way of messing you up, and letting you know that you aren't OK! A couple of years ago I had a prophetic word spoken over me by two different people. Now for those of you who may be skeptical of this sort of thing, I did not know these two men, never met them in my life, but had been praying diligently for the Lord to give me a word of confirmation on some things going on in my life. They not only spoke about those things, but also spoke about a restored relationship with my father that had been broken since I was a little girl. I did a few things that I felt like the Lord was calling me to do at that time and left it at that. No real relationship with my dad was established, but we were more on "speaking terms" than we had been in years. And, I started calling him "dad" again instead of "John".
Nothing else really changed but this last weekend I saw my dad like I have not seen him before. I almost can't find the words to describe the change that I saw. My uncle's death really humbled him.
Isn't it just like the Lord to give us things that we have longed for? My dad told me that I was pretty. I don't know if I have ever heard him tell me that. But don't all daughters want to hear that from their daddies? I went for two motorcycle rides with him. Not that riding motorcycles is my thing, but because he had rode me on his bike when I was little. My uncle had rode me on his motorcycle, too. I told my dad that I loved him and I mean it. I'm not really sure that my heart is completely healed, but I see the true beginnings of restoration.
My dad called me this morning to tell me to be careful and that he loves me. How unusual......I'm not sure I know what to do with this. Except to realize that God works all things together for good.
One last thing, my dad called my mom. They have been divorced since I was 11. They have not been on very good speaking terms. But he apologized to her for all that he had done to her and our family. She apologized, too. Could this be the release of bitterness held by both of them? I in no way mean that they will reconcile, they are both remarried to great people, just that maybe they both will have a greater peace now.
Did my uncle have to die for these things to happen? No. But God has taken this tragedy that satan meant for harm and changed my dad. He is bringing an end to a cycle of un-forgiveness and bitterness, and whispered a few sweet words to this little girl's heart.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
There is a Season, a Time
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die..."
Today was my uncle Randy's time to die. So many things run through my mind when I think about this and the sadness that my family faces now and until Jesus calls the rest of us home.
The first is that I am not sure that he was saved. It is my sincere hope that at some point either before this accident, or sometime during the accident he cried out to Jesus to forgive him, and found himself in heaven. My uncle lived a hard life. Mostly scarred by alcohol and drugs. Maybe a product of the environment that he grew up in, but mostly because of the choices that he made. My heart hurts to think that he may not have been ready to meet his Maker.
Second, my poor Granny. She has buried one of her babies (when he was a baby), her husband of nearly 50 years, most of her friends, and now her youngest son. And her oldest son is in prison. I wonder how much she can take. She has been through so much and still, life is hard. Her life has been hard, and not just from the loss of close family and friends. Sometimes it seems she drew the short end of the stick.
Third, I haven't been really close to my uncle in years. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't tell you the last time that I talked to him. But when I was young, he was my favorite. He would ride with me on the bicycle. We had a not so pleasant accident one time that landed me at the hospital scrapped and bruised. He took me for rides on his motorcycle. He took me to meet Santa at his work. That did not go so well either, as I was not too inclined to visit with Santa. I have a not so pretty picture of me crying on Santa's lap with my uncle Randy sitting beside me to calm me down.
We have been through many seasons. I know that not one of them was a surprise to God. He has known all of these things would happen, He knows what else will happen. I believe He will guide us through the seasons to follow......from the time of weeping and mourning to the time of laughter and dancing....and pray that He sends an extra portion of His peace for this really difficult time.
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die..."
Today was my uncle Randy's time to die. So many things run through my mind when I think about this and the sadness that my family faces now and until Jesus calls the rest of us home.
The first is that I am not sure that he was saved. It is my sincere hope that at some point either before this accident, or sometime during the accident he cried out to Jesus to forgive him, and found himself in heaven. My uncle lived a hard life. Mostly scarred by alcohol and drugs. Maybe a product of the environment that he grew up in, but mostly because of the choices that he made. My heart hurts to think that he may not have been ready to meet his Maker.
Second, my poor Granny. She has buried one of her babies (when he was a baby), her husband of nearly 50 years, most of her friends, and now her youngest son. And her oldest son is in prison. I wonder how much she can take. She has been through so much and still, life is hard. Her life has been hard, and not just from the loss of close family and friends. Sometimes it seems she drew the short end of the stick.
Third, I haven't been really close to my uncle in years. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't tell you the last time that I talked to him. But when I was young, he was my favorite. He would ride with me on the bicycle. We had a not so pleasant accident one time that landed me at the hospital scrapped and bruised. He took me for rides on his motorcycle. He took me to meet Santa at his work. That did not go so well either, as I was not too inclined to visit with Santa. I have a not so pretty picture of me crying on Santa's lap with my uncle Randy sitting beside me to calm me down.
We have been through many seasons. I know that not one of them was a surprise to God. He has known all of these things would happen, He knows what else will happen. I believe He will guide us through the seasons to follow......from the time of weeping and mourning to the time of laughter and dancing....and pray that He sends an extra portion of His peace for this really difficult time.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Intentional
When Hezekiah became king after Ahaz, he immediately started restoring the kingdom to a relationship with the Lord. I love what he says in 2 Chronicles 29:10 (NIV) "Now I intend to make a covenant with the LORD, the God of Israel, so that his fierce anger will turn away from us".
Now I'm all about turning away the anger of the Lord (or trying not to make Him mad to start with), but what stands out is that Hezekiah was intentional. He was making it a point to turn Israel back to God. The New King James version uses the words "it is in my heart to make covenant with the Lord".
This really started me thinking about how intentional my walk with God is. How much of what God wants is in my heart? I get so caught up in the everyday things and happenings (distractions) of life that I loose my focus on what God may be trying to show me or the things that I need to change or the kind of example I am being. I stop being intentional in my walk with God, and operate more in the flesh of Christie than the calling of God.
Intentional means deliberate. Am I deliberate in making choices that honor God? Am I deliberate in my obedience to Christ? Or, do I just go through the motions of following the dos and don'ts of the Bible. Do I have just enough Jesus to get me to Heaven, or do I intentionally seek Him and His will for me and my family?
I hope that much more often than not I am intentional in my relationship with my Abba Father, but I know that I have fallen short. My prayer now if for Jesus to not let me forget the words of Hezekiah, for me to repeat those words as if I had penned them.....
I intend to make a covenant with the Lord my God, to let it be in my heart to serve Him and give Him reign over my household. To tear down the things that I have let come between Him and me, and move forward in the blessings that His word promises. Jesus help me to be intentional.
Now I'm all about turning away the anger of the Lord (or trying not to make Him mad to start with), but what stands out is that Hezekiah was intentional. He was making it a point to turn Israel back to God. The New King James version uses the words "it is in my heart to make covenant with the Lord".
This really started me thinking about how intentional my walk with God is. How much of what God wants is in my heart? I get so caught up in the everyday things and happenings (distractions) of life that I loose my focus on what God may be trying to show me or the things that I need to change or the kind of example I am being. I stop being intentional in my walk with God, and operate more in the flesh of Christie than the calling of God.
Intentional means deliberate. Am I deliberate in making choices that honor God? Am I deliberate in my obedience to Christ? Or, do I just go through the motions of following the dos and don'ts of the Bible. Do I have just enough Jesus to get me to Heaven, or do I intentionally seek Him and His will for me and my family?
I hope that much more often than not I am intentional in my relationship with my Abba Father, but I know that I have fallen short. My prayer now if for Jesus to not let me forget the words of Hezekiah, for me to repeat those words as if I had penned them.....
I intend to make a covenant with the Lord my God, to let it be in my heart to serve Him and give Him reign over my household. To tear down the things that I have let come between Him and me, and move forward in the blessings that His word promises. Jesus help me to be intentional.
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