Surreal

I think right now I feel like this is not really happening. I know that it is the right thing to do but it is just so hard. Last week I gave Dan the divorce papers but he isn't making any fast moves to sign them. I have tried to talk to him several times and get him to understand all that I am feeling and why I think things have turned out the way they have but he insists that I am making a bigger deal out of things than they are and that everything he has done was the right decision for him. He just doesn't get that it isn't about him, it's about our family and what is best for all of us. it is impossible to talk to him and it frustrates me to no end!!! No matter what I say I can't get through to him. Someone who hardly knows Dan asked me if I was familiar with a Narcissistic personality and said that it describes him. Was it God giving discernment? After doing a little research, I do have to agree that he definitely has some of the traits. I need alot of prayer......

Psalm 27

I read this chapter today and thought how appropriate for this time in my life.

Psalm 27
Of David.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh, [a]
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.
7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [b] face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.
13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Prophecy

My life lately has been a little crazier than normal (I know, some of you are going...is that possible). It seems that things that I thought were fixed are not and I have had to make some VERY hard choices about my life, especially concerning my marriage....I have been praying and asking God to really give me some direct answers and at last, my seeking Him seemed to break through and a word was spoken to me that has brought much peace....I am so excited now for the things that God has in store and determined to seek Him even more. If I knew how to upload the word that was spoken to me on here I would, even though most people reading this would not understand what it meant. I guess my point to this blog is that my God is faithful, my God is faithful....Deuteronomy 4:29 (New International Version)
"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul". I know that I have found Him.

Backyardigans

Like most preschoolers, Zachary likes to watch Noggin. We watch it ALL the time and love most of the shows. However, last night we were watching the Backyardigans and I was very disturbed to see that they were promoting Greek gods. It so happens that it was raining and two of the characters wanted it to stop so they decided that they needed to go and ask the goddess of weather to make it stop. They proceded to go up into the clouds where they met the god of laughter and the god of naps. Both of which tried to make them laugh and take a nap. When one of the characters refused the god chased them around trying to force them until the character offered an offering to the god. I did not make it to see what happened when they reached the god of weather. I am a Christian and I try to live my life accordingly. I don't beat people over the head with theology or try to persuade them to believe as I do because I think that my life should be the example. I will defend my faith and tell of how it has changed my life. I guess what I want to know now is, why can television teach our kids to pray to other gods but it better not even remotely mention or reference the God who created it all?? Just my thoughts today. I don't think that we will watch the Backyardigans anymore.

Spring Break 2009

Our spring break this year did not turn out exactly as we had planned but we did have alot of fun. We started out headed to the beach but that got changed through a series of events andwe ended up doing a variety of things.

We stayed at my parents house from Friday until Tuesday. There we had an Easter egg hunt with family and friends. The kids all had a good time coloring eggs and then eventually throwing them up against trees (all I can say is that they are boys!!). Joseph got to visit his friends Cameron and Colby. I got to visit with Sherri and Jen (Sherri and I were SO glad to catch up with her...love you, Jen!!!). After the egg hunt Sherri, Jen and me went to Applebee's in Seneca to catch up.

Wednesday my sister and her family came up for a couple of days. Thursday we went to Dollywood for the WHOLE day. We also got to hang out with Bryan, Joy, Nate and Henry...we had such a good time.

Friday after my sister left we went to the library, and I tried to take the boys on a picnic but neither of them thought that a picnic was a fun idea, so, we ditched that idea and spent the afternoon at the flea market. Later, we met our friends from SC for dinner.

Today, I have cleaned the house, caught up the laundry and, can you believe, am writing a blog post!!?!?! I think I will get ahead on some homework now so that I won't have so much to do next week.

Day Off With Zach

Today Zach and me had the day all to ourselves. We took Joseph to school and then came home and watched The Incredibles and read a Diego book about telling time (twice). Then Zach helped me clean out my closet for the yard sale next week...for some reason he liked the robe that I put in the pile and kept dragging it out. After that we got ready to go to Food City where I spent about $15 more than I planned because things just kept appearing in the cart!!! We had to load the groceries in the car in the rain...we got very wet! It was 2pm by this time and we had an hour before time to pick up Joseph. Zach fell asleep in the car, I took the groceries in the house, in the rain again, and then went through Wendy's drive-thru for a late lunch. We got to school at 2:30 where Zach slept and I read some of John Grisham's The Appeal. Now we are home watching Bolt!

Blogging

Everyday I think that I am going to write something on my blog but when I login I can't think of what I want to write..lol...There are 100 (at least) things that I think about or that happen when I am away from the computer but for some reason they flee my mind or don't seem quite as interesting when I start to write them. Oh, well, maybe inspiration will come to me one of these days.....