Shout Out for my Single Mom Friends

This blog post is dedicated to my single mom friends who I love dearly and can't imagine navigating this rocky road of life without. It is in no way an indication that at the root of things we are not happy or in anyway imply that we discount the reality of Jesus working in us and for us. But.....

Life just stinks sometimes. No use beating around the bush to say it. It is hard, we worry, and often times we ask God if He is sure He won't give us more than we can bear. The day-to-day thoughts of money, kids, and how we are going to get everything done consumes us most of the time and tries to make the burden all the harder to carry. There is often a lot more month than money. Our kids see the things that other kids get and wonder why they can't have it all. Not to mention the fact that they are missing the much needed father figure to provide the support and stability that we sometimes cannot. I do not know how to SHOW my boys how to be godly men. I am not a man. I can teach them about God's word and live the way God instructs me to live, but it is not the same as if they had a godly man to lead them. How do we show our girls that their value is greater than anything that this world offers and that they shouldn't settle for the first guy that comes along that says the "right" things but does not have their best interests in his heart? We certainly don't want them to make the mistakes that we (and their dads) have made.

And let's not even talk about the dynamic of dating. Seriously....some days we long for someone that will help ease the burdens of adult life. Someone to talk to about the worst day ever or that will anticipate our need for dinner to already be made and at least a path cleared through the house so that we can walk straight to bed for much needed rest (did I mention that sleep is a rare commodity?). But what we get instead is trying too hard to impress someone who really isn't sure of what he wants or who is looking for the "perfect" woman, and end up making a fool of ourselves. Or believing the lines that we are fed only to realize that, that is all they are, empty words. What about when we do give our hearts to someone...and they give it right back to us? We find ourselves back at square one dealing with the same thoughts and insecurities that we had hoped had been conquered.

Yes, life stinks, sometimes. But there is a constant. The Still Small Voice that wakes us up at (what we think as) the most inopportune times and says "Wake up precious one. I want to tell you something". And we wrestle with waking up to spend time with our God and say, "not now Lord, I am tired". But His message to us won't leave. He keeps prompting us through the Holy Spirit to talk with Him, commune with Him, to let Him be the One that meets our needs and fills us up. His love is perfect, His plan is perfect. In order for us to be the women that He has called us to be we have to give Him our whole heart, and trust Him completely. Otherwise we aren't fully able to love, trust, or overcome the hurts of our past to move forward in what He has for us.

Even though we wrestle and argue before we submit, His message stays the same. If we listen close enough we will hear Him say, "It's going to be OK". Everything that we need was provided when Jesus came to this earth. As Pastor Tom has been teaching, "the end of our between is here".

More Than You Can Imagine

To go along with my blog about worrying too much about what people think, I have a follow up to prove my paranoia..haha.

Yesterday my dad commented on a photo and said "I love you more than you can imagine". When I first saw this I thought, "that's a little weird". Immediately I wondered what people would think about a comment like that. I mean, isn't that a term better suited for a significant other or spouse?

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how relevant those words are at this stage of my life. Most of my life I have not imagined that my dad loved me at all. So the words "I love you more than you can imagine" are a very appropriate reminder that God has brought healing and restoration to my relationship with my dad. That He is a God who keeps His word and does the things He says He will do when I am willing to submit to Him and be obedient to Him.

It is also a reminder that if my earthly father can love me that much, how much more does my heavenly Father, who knew me long before my dad, love me?

The answer....more than I can imagine.

Ephesians 3:16-19

"that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God"

I Worry Too Much

A friend of mine told me today, "you worry too much" in response to an explanation that I gave for something that I had said earlier. They are right.

More times that not, I will over analyze things that I have said. Conversations with people and statements that I have made, and then feel the need to explain something that I said or wonder if what I said made sense. This will prompt me to want to explain or make other statements when the reality is that what I said to start with was fine.

I'm not sure why my mind works this way. Maybe it is lingering tidbits of insecurity that sometimes want to rise back up within me. Maybe it's that I want to be very careful how I come across to people because I want to be sensitive to their situations. Maybe it's because I've been in situations where what I said was misinterpreted and distorted into something it was not. Whatever the reason, this type of worry is putting confidence in myself rather than the Creator of my confidence and the reason I even have a voice to start with.

Philippians 3:3 says "for it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh".

I agree with this friend that I do worry too much. But this worry is not adding anything of value to my life or my relationships (Matthew 6:27).  It distracts me from the things of God, makes me seem immature (and insecure), and most of the time will diminish the original message.

There are certainly times that I will make mistakes in conversation and will need to explain myself or even apologize. But that is not always the case. My prayer today is for God to give me more wisdom, more discernment, and more of Him to fill in the spaces that this type of worry tries to occupy.

God is My Defender

 In the last few weeks there have been a few people that have spoken lies about me questioning my integrity and making accusations that I do not live a life according to God's word. I found several scriptures about the Lord being my defender but I chose this one to use for this situation.

2 Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence."

The Lord knows the truth about what these people have said about me. He will deliver me from their slander. He knows my heart. While I really wanted to be mad at them, I decided that I wouldn't be upset or launch into a defense but will see it for what it is. An attack of satan. His attempt to distract me from the things that God is calling me to.

Nothing makes satan madder or more determined to create problems than when someone starts fulfilling the call that God has on their life. I am certainly far from perfect and my flesh wants to rise up in anger that is not so righteous sometimes. But, I am definitely in a place where God is working, changing, and leading me into deeper things with Him.

So while I am moving forward and believing that God is my refuge and place of safety, I will also remember that Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). That includes lies spoken against me.